Breast Milk Lollipops
Many, many people slaved away making these lollipops under great duress. They’re called confectioners, and they have a very stressful job. No, these aren’t really made from breast milk, so if you were excited that you found the perfect gift for that pervert you know, you might want to keep looking. Of course you don’t have to tell them they’re not real.
Yes, we are talking about actual, for real radioactive, uranium ore. It’s nothing you could make a bomb from, we’re pretty sure, but point a Geiger counter at it and your friend is sure to get that uncomfortable “is this thing going to give me cancer?” feeling we all love to hate. Probably don’t give this one to your roommate.
Give them the gift of their own personal Finland with this hot and steamy portable sauna. There’s nothing weird about rejuvenating mind and body in the comfort of home, while head and hands are free to hold a book and read outside the heat - it just looks a little weird. Okay, maybe more than a little.
Edible spray paint is typically used by fancy cake chefs to decorate their creations, but might we suggest an alternative use? Why not give a can or two to your weird friend who is into graffiti? Let them tag their (and everyone else’s, probably) lunch instead of that spot under the bridge. It’s even certified kosher!
The ostrich pillow allows you to bury your head in comfort and escape the danger of having to face a long plane (or train or bus) ride without the best travel pillow on the market. Give one to your favorite napper before their next trip, or after their last one!
Not everyone has space in their home for a life-sized(!) replica T. Rex skeleton, but, for those who do, we can’t imagine a more exciting gift. Unleash their inner paleontologist with this incredible, museum quality item, an exact copy of a real fossil skeleton found in the Black Hills of South Dakota.
If you’re looking for a gift that they’ll never forget, treat them to a custom made Mousterpiece. They can be designed to your own unique specifications and are perhaps the ultimate weird gift. These beautifully crafted pieces of taxidermy are memorable, possibly a touch creepy, and yet somewhat incredibly endearing.
Get your player piano out of here! This amazing device is 17 instruments in one. That’s an entire band! And not a small one either! It stores 13,000 songs in 10 categories, features a 15” touchscreen interface, and is housed in a magnificent oak cabinet that is a work of art all its own.
For your punk-rock friend with a not-so-punk pet, spray-on PetPaint can make any fur-covered beast look like a total badass. Color the cat and dye the dog in nearly every color you can imagine. It even comes in brown for some reason!