Whether it’s the simple act of putting together a résumé or the shifty art of mastering office politics, a new or soon-to-be graduate needs guidance from someone who has had their boots on the ground. They’ve put all this work into getting smart; don’t let them get stomped by some stone-dumb backstabber with a better plan.
The market is saturated with college grads, and they’re going to need a backup plan. That plan is, and always has been, gold! While they’ve been drinking Keystone Light and playing X-Box (or worse, writing math problems and studying business plans), the smart folks have been in the hills filling up their pockets with precious metals. And having a blast doing it.
Time to do some studying before you arrive on campus. Get some sage advice on how to avoid the most common pitfalls of college freshmanhood, from someone who’s been there and done that. They’ll sit back and laugh at their classmates as their lives unravel.
Going to college means getting up and motivated for early morning classes, often after a late night of doing what college is really about - homework, right? It’s easy for students to forget to set an alarm, or to select PM instead of AM before passing out, from all that learning. A smart alarm clock can be programmed ahead of time to match their class schedule. On Monday it knows to go off at 7 in the morning, but on Tuesday it lets them sleep it off till 10.
Help reinforce good choices by giving a young person this hilarious version of the world’s most famous death game. Just load up a water balloon and pass the pistol around the table, then wait to see who gets soaked.
Wouldn’t those eggs look better with their gorgeous face next to them? Any photograph can be converted into a template that will burn their beautiful mug right into every piece of bread that goes in the toaster. Fret no more, narcissism doesn’t have to wait until after breakfast.
Save your favorite college student the indignity of walking back and forth from the couch to the kitchen for a beer. We put a man on the moon for God’s sake. Hand-made by Amish craftsmen and built to last for generations, this is no flimsy Walmart furniture. Class out the wazoo.
Get a game of ping pong going on the fly using any existing table in your apartment. It’s great for parties, and for building basic old-school skills like hand-eye coordination and face-to-face communication. If that gets too weird, you can still text verbal insults at each other from across the table.
Rugged, non-slip, waterproof, and shockproof, this rock-solid external hard drive will keep their data safe no matter how hopelessly clumsy or reckless they are. USB 2.0 and 3.0 compatible and built like a tank. The coordination-challenged student’s best friend.