One of the real barriers for many people to enjoying champagne to the fullest is the sense of pretension that surrounds this exalted beverage. It’s a pretension that permeates and infuses the entire experience, just like the bubbles that give champagne its famous zing. At last, someone has invented the perfect tool for de-snootifying the most famous of sparkling wines. Now, they can finally enjoy champagne the way they have always wanted – with no sense of class or dignity whatsoever.
Tough love is so underrated! School a clueless loved one in your life with this lifesaving gift and help reduce the number of whiny adults wandering aimlessly around the planet. There’s nothing wrong with helpful handouts (especially when it comes to gift giving!), but sometimes an in-your-face “hand-up” is the most effective approach if you’re pissing off family and friends left and right. Get over it and just get it done!
Make fish jealous and friends queasy with a package of earthworm jerky. Packed with protein, these all-natural snacks really put the gag in gag gift. Great for toddlers and blind folk, or for anyone who likes to freak out their family. Clean and ready to eat. Hold the dirt.
Keep your head and face warm without the commitment (or testosterone) it takes to grow an actual beard! These knit beanies with detachable face fur are as funny as they are functional. From biker to barbarian, Viking to vagabond, there is a Beard Head for every taste and style.
Who needs mink coats when they can have the whole kit and caboodle made from plush fur balls? Put that puss to work and crank out some nifty doodads that will have everyone and their tabby ooh-ing, aah-ing and purring from sun up to sun down. A gift anyone can really wrap their paws around, this handy guide is a humane, albeit quirky, collection of charming ideas for the feline lover on your list. Simply meow-velous!
We have long maintained that the only reason people think eating bugs is gross is because society is uptight about it. They taste fine! They are eco-friendly! The have lots of protein! Birds eat them, right? You think you’re better than a bird? You can’t even fly! Try them, we triple dog dare ya!
This killer accessory is hardly a gag gift. The recipient of this fine headwear will be commanding respect on the racquetball court and sopping up sweat in style while weed whacking the front lawn. There’s something irresistibly strapping about mullets, and there’s no doubt they’ll reemerge as a hairdo trend if not in this decade, certainly the next. Of course, the lucky stallion that’s sporting this feathered mane has to have the proper attitude to match and that just can’t be taught, so give wisely, my friend!
The recipient of this whimsical gift doesn’t have to be into taxidermy per se, just lonely enough to need a host of rodent performance artists for companions. These furry friends won’t leave droppings around the house like those other mischievous crumb-tracking critters already inhabiting the home. A class above the rest, this quirky cast of players will provide endless entertainment and quiet company, far outperforming other domesticated pet breeds. And the Emmy goes to…
Look, we know that not everybody needs to have a giant five pound gummy bear, but not everybody technically needs pants, either. Having a giant gummy bear is like having a pair of pants: once you have one, it is hard to imagine life without it. The point is that need has nothing to do with it.