Personalized Romance Novel
You know that your romantic history is of epic significance. If only you had the hardware to prove it. Now you can immortalize your love story in the form of a big, fat, campy adventure romance novel. The world always has a gross shortage of heroes, and if somebody has to fill the void, it might as well be you. Here is your chance to fill it with style and sexiness. Enter yourself in the great pantheon of timeless erotic literature, where you’ve always known you belong.
You’ve done so many amazing things together that you might be hard pressed for an novel idea on the next date night. Don’t panic, we’ve found the perfect solution with this gift. 52 new ideas that are sure to keep things interesting. The best part? They’ll love it so much they won’t even realize that you may have bought it with yourself in mind. We won’t tell if you won’t…
Celebrating with a gourmet dinner is always a solid plan, but things can get rather awkward in a crowded restaurant when the happy couple starts playing footsie and getting handsy. No need to “get a room!” if the chef comes to you, however.
Give the gift of beautiful views, bucket-list achievements, and especially if they’re afraid of heights, hours of entertainment for you. It veers away from cruel since it’s completely safe, but you’ll definitely get your money’s worth watching them rotate between admiring the splendor and clutching the basket while praying in four languages. Especially since they only speak one.
Roses are red, usually. But not chocolate roses. Pleasing to the eye and your beloved’s sweet tooth, this delectable gift may be challenging to perfect, but they’ll earn you some brownie points that will take your relationship standings off the charts. If you can pull off these confectionery delicacies, you’ll be walking the Julia Childs hall of fame for decades to come.
Giving the gift of roses to your love is pretty traditional, but since roses just wilt and die shortly after they’re received, they’re really not a good symbol for ever-lasting and growing commitment. These beautifully preserved roses will never wilt and require no care or water. What better way to express your eternal adoration for the love of your life?
All birds do better when they have a welcoming environment to grow old in, and that includes lovebirds. Some day in the future, you’ll be able to imprison a living, feeling hologram of yourself in a virtual terrarium so that people can look in on your relationship thousands of years later and see the two of you frolicking or arguing or whatever. For now, you’ll have to represent yourselves with handcrafted figurines. But they’re adorable, unique, and there are no ethical questions. It’s basically a perfect gift.
Extend the celebration of your love for weeks, months even, with these personalized devotion vouchers. Your soul mate will revel in the chance to squeeze as much attention out of you as they possibly can—they might even try to double or triple their bounty if the rules allow for it—and you can earn extended reward points for being such a generous partner. Send your sweetheart on a shopping spree through the romance department where expiration dates never apply!
Serenade your partner with this set of musical wine glasses and then get completely sloshed. The glasses need to have liquid in them to work, so, what are you going to do, just throw all that wine away? No, instead you will make beautiful music together until all the "inspiration" is gone.