Decision Paperweight
The burden of constant decision making has been found to be the leading cause of workplace violence. Help forestall a catastrophe by moving the burden onto this ever patient, always reliable aluminum spinner. You may just be saving a life.
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Help your coworkers escape the stressors of the real world by venturing into the virtual land of, well, whatever some demented programmer came up with. Virtual reality applications are expanding all the time into areas no one ever thought of, and pretty soon everyone is going to want one of these. These VR headsets have come down in price a lot since they were introduced, making them an affordable gift that's out of this world.
Oh no, you didn’t. You bet your voodoo doll we did! It’s time to release those pent-up thoughts and feelings of frustration that are clogging your mind so you can achieve clarity at work. Not only is it healthy to project your angst onto an inanimate object, but it’s extremely entertaining! Let go of what’s bogging you down and play a little. Dabble in the dark side and clear the air at work. You might be surprised at the results!
There isn’t an employee (or human) out there who couldn’t make use of this big red button! It’ll come in handy when the boss promises them that pay review for the hundredth time, or when Katie from finance claims her boyfriend’s band is the next Pink Floyd. Just make sure they wait until the BS-er is out of sight!
Show them who’s boss...but not too obviously, of course. Wreak passive-aggressive havoc with this walk-by game board. Settle disagreements, prove them wrong, and earn bragging rights, all without even saying a word...but no cheating!
Anybody who’s not wholly and purely evil would love the gift of fresh, on-demand ice cream at their desk, but here’s a ProTip: save this one for someone whose office isn’t too far away from yours. Just saying.
Are you changing jobs soon and want to leave behind a legacy of disorder and cascading revenge? Give this book to the person at the office you hate least and let them unleash a reign of terror and annoyance. A perfect bridge burner.
Say goodbye to the desk covered in post-it notes, the misplaced notebook, and the back-pocket flash drive. Say hello to less is more. Embrace the future with this one-of-a-kind scribe. Translate your precious thoughts and to-do lists into tangible deliverables and never look back!
Be that guy. Use these time-tested techniques to appear smarter in meetings - without even trying! Topics include “how to nod and pace” and “what to do with your face.” This fabulously snarky book is sure to appeal to those who are familiar with the corporate drudgery of relentless, inane meetings.