Fire Escape Bookshelf
The fire escape is a staple of the urban landscape. Most people are too scared to use them in an emergency anyway, so they’re really just a decorative addition. At least this one holds your pictures and flower pots. Help someone give their new loft, studio, or suburban mcmansion a gritty, fashion-forward vibe with this unique gift.
The old video games have a charm that just won’t ever be matched again. A couple of ethnic caricatures running around in the clouds killing turtles and invading medieval castles? Nowadays all we’ve got are zombies, which are disgusting and weird and move too slow to be interesting. Hark back to simpler times with this novel housewarming gift.
In case you haven’t noticed, Mother Nature could use some help. Old plants and leaves will eventually rot enough that you can use them as mulch, but Jesus does it take a long time, and nobody’s got all day to wait. Like they say, if you want something done right, do it yourself. An electric leaf mulcher is a great way to speed up that slow old woman’s work.
Cotton candy brings back delicious memories of festivals, carnivals, and other favorite childhood events. But what about someone who lives in a crap town that even carnivals won’t visit, or is scared of clowns or strangers? Despite what your parents may have told you, cotton candy isn’t magic. It can be made right at home with a handy little machine like this.
At one time or another we all find ourselves on the wrong side of the front door, clueless to where our keys are and not really wanting to wait for someone else to get home to let us in. Give them a housewarming gift that will make sure they’re never left out in the cold with this lock pick training kit. A friendly word of advice: just play it cool if there’s a neighborhood heist in the near future.
Despite what you might think, not all communication in the 21st century is digital. There is a midway point between old time mouth-based talking and facebook, where people still communicate in a low tech environment. You just have to make a game out of it, or no one will bother. Let wall scrabble be the glue that holds the thin shards of someone’s family life together.
In the world of minor annoyances that slowly wear you down, wet hand and footwear are right up there with highway noise and wet toilet paper. Thankfully, there’s no more need to wait two days for dry boots or gloves. Just pop them on this handy little machine, turn the heat up, wait an hour or two, and it’s go time.
Both cheaper and healthier than buying commercially-made soda, this thing is a win-win. It’s also a step up in elegance from having a pantry stuffed with cases of Mountain Dew. They can tell everyone it’s “artisan soda”, whatever that means. Their health, checking account, and reputation as connoisseurs will all thank you.
People these days are more interested than ever in knowing about the entire life cycle of the food they eat, from farm to table as they say. This butter churner is the perfect housewarming gift for someone who really likes to get hands-on with their food. Help transport them back to the days before capitalism had ruined the world but you had to do every damn thing yourself.