Fire Escape Bookshelf
The fire escape is a staple of the urban landscape. Most people are too scared to use them in an emergency anyway, so they’re really just a decorative addition. At least this one holds your pictures and flower pots. Help someone give their new loft, studio, or suburban mcmansion a gritty, fashion-forward vibe with this unique gift.
This is what Indiana Jones played with in his backyard when he got old and stopped chasing treasures in the third world. It’s just as fun, and nobody’s going to try to pull your heart out with his bare hand at the other end. Of course, you also won’t get rich, but you’ve gotta take the good with the bad.
Both cheaper and healthier than buying commercially-made soda, this thing is a win-win. It’s also a step up in elegance from having a pantry stuffed with cases of Mountain Dew. They can tell everyone it’s “artisan soda”, whatever that means. Their health, checking account, and reputation as connoisseurs will all thank you.
Light the way through the dusk with these nontoxic glow in the dark pebbles. Adds a touch of the surreal to a house’s landscaping. Great for drunk homeowners who haven’t lived there long enough to tell the houses apart.
The old video games have a charm that just won’t ever be matched again. A couple of ethnic caricatures running around in the clouds killing turtles and invading medieval castles? Nowadays all we’ve got are zombies, which are disgusting and weird and move too slow to be interesting. Hark back to simpler times with this novel housewarming gift.
Many a voracious reader dreams of whiling away the time in a comfortable chair in some musty library. But what if the chair itself was the library? If they can survive this intense moment of revelation, they may have something akin to a braingasm. Which is a hell of a housewarming gift in itself.
If you know someone that has a bit of a competitive streak, we think we’ve got the perfect gift for them. Be prepared to go toe-to-toe with their bishops, knights and queens as you try to outmaneuver and outdrink them. In this game of chess it’s not just your king that needs to be last man standing.
Being earthbound can be such a drag. A Star Trek themed bathrobe can be a nightly reminder that mere humans just like us have indeed sailed among the stars, and perhaps someday we will too. Does wonders for your confidence too: once you’ve had the feeling of piloting an interstellar craft, running a household is child’s play.
Run, run as fast as you can, but you can’t escape from a Ninjabread Man. These stealthy holiday assassins will sneak, chop, and stab their way from oven to belly without making a sound. Turn any kitchen into a dojo with these hilarious novelty cookie cutters.