Giant Gummy Bear
Look, we know that not everybody needs to have a giant five pound gummy bear, but not everybody technically needs pants, either. Having a giant gummy bear is like having a pair of pants: once you have one, it is hard to imagine life without it. The point is that need has nothing to do with it.
This is not your grandfather’s Kit Cat Clock, but it is, ironically the size of a grandfather clock. The modern classic gets a big size upgrade, but the iconic smile, rolling eyes, and swinging tail are all still here. You’re going to love this giant kitty.
Why not reward the passive-aggressive person in your life with a playful beast that best personifies the light and dark sides of their personality? Raw emotional expression can be quite therapeutic and these cuddly critters are particularly gifted when it comes to delivering love and horror with just one forcible squeeze. Lifeless teddy bears are dreadfully dull and possibly creepier than these cheeky creatures. This badass gift is sure to raise the shock factor at the next occasion!
The lucky recipient of these handy hi-tech gloves will be dressed to impress at any outdoor excursion or special ops affair. The ultimate in wireless fashion accessories, these snug-fitting paw protectors will keep your pal connected at all times and make them the envy of every screen-hungry mobile phone junkie from San Francisco to Dubai. Even 007 will be begging to get his hands on these ultra cool mobility mitts. Those hands were made for talking!
For those that like a challenge, this wall clock’s hands run counterclockwise, which makes telling time a real chore. We suggest secretly replacing a friend’s regular clock with the backwards version just to see how long it takes for them to notice this lovely gift. If only it could turn back time for real.
Having eyes on the back of your head would be nice … but how about one humungous peeper shooting from the hip instead? Talk about a pickpocket deterrent! Thieves won’t touch this mesmerizing purse with a ten-foot pole. Whoever’s strolling around with this blinding baby blue better be dressed to the nines because all eyes will be fixated on her! Strangely inviting and incredibly attentive, this ocular gag gift will inspire and amaze. Here’s lookin’ at you, kid!
Welcome. It’s nice, we guess, but how sincere does it seem as you are wiping your boots or knocking on the door? Wouldn’t you love to open your door to guests who are already laughing at your jokes? Get the perfect doormat to make your friends laugh every time they come or go.
Relieving yourself into an empty beer can might seem like a bright idea, but it doesn’t quite make the grade at the country club golf course. For all those chaps who can’t seem to get that coveted hole-in-one, this discreet port-a-potty is the next best thing. That handy-dandy golf towel wasn’t just made for polishing the five irons … talk about the perfect-sized curtain for answering the call of nature. Don’t let a full bladder spoil your eagle on the 9th hole. Drain that lizard in style and tee up like a true gentleman!
Your friend or loved one may have already started to suspect something about the inherent absurd futility of life. If not, then perhaps you can inform them with this gift, which is an extraordinarily apt illustration of the horrifying predicament in which we the living find ourselves. Doing exactly what it says on the package, this box has no purpose other than to instantly turn itself ‘off’ when you try to turn it ‘on’. Despite being useless, we have to admit it does have a certain charm.