Sometimes a mirror just isn’t enough. You’ve heard it said that you are what you eat, so it stands to reason that it’s easier to digest things that already look like you. The selfie toaster is here to revolutionize your relationship to food.
Along with abundance comes the responsibility not to bore the crap out of people by making the same silly casserole every night. The problem is that nobody wants to think that much about food. They just want to eat. Place the burden of creativity - and blame - on these ingenious foodie dice, and watch the possibilities multiply.
Sturdier, more convenient, and easier to handle than traditional kabob skewers. No more forgetting to buy skewers and having to eat raw steak and vegetables or cook with their bare hands. Not every brilliant solution has to be high tech. Some just make a lot of damn sense.
Personalized gifts are always the best. A picture frame is one thing; it’s something else entirely to show them that you know exactly what they want to look at by loading it with pictures that will make them happy. Just make sure you get it right. Otherwise it comes across as a weird attempt at mind control.
Nothing makes you feel more at home in a foreign place than knowing the right way to tell someone to go f*ck himself. Don’t let a traveler you know venture off into the great unknown without arming them first with this essential guidebook. No matter where you end up on this great planet of ours, respect follows those who command the rough outer edges of the language.
How many times have they said, “I know this town like the back of my hand”? Present them with this accurate jigsaw representation, sit back, and ask them to prove it. Or stoke their nostalgia with a puzzle version of their long-lost birthplace. A great choice for a more personalized gift.
For many people, donuts are the only reason to get up in the morning. Despite this, we’ve been told over and over how unhealthy they are, being fried balls of dough and all. Well, this donut pan will remove the final psychological barrier to full enjoyment, because it takes out the frying. Take that, food police. Oh, and it’s a lot cheaper too.
This sculpture is not, despite all appearances, the work of some sort of demented robot clown, but it is the perfect housewarming gift for the person who appreciates a little whimsy with their modern art. It’s a wonderful conversation starter, and it will never, ever pop.
So this maybe doesn’t have the wow factor of, say, a MENSA membership, but that’s not the point. You can buy a lifetime supply of Frosted Flakes for $.99. We’re not sure what MENSA does for you, but we know it can’t deliver like that. Who’s the genius now?