Gold or Silver Coins
Like happiness, most peoples’ wealth is intangible. It’s just a number that represents a theoretical claim on a few bars of metal locked in a vault somewhere that don’t exist anyway. So what’s better than happiness and fake money? Gold! And nothing but gold! But you’re way too sophisticated to give them a shapeless ball of ore. Gold coins allow you to hand over timeless wealth in a package that’s fit to be displayed. Just like a king of yore.
Save them from trekking all the way down to the local ice cream chain store and waiting in line for some 16 year old who hates everything about them to shovel a handful of mass-produced ice cream into a paper cup and then charge them eight dollars while rolling his eyes. Life is so much more pleasant when you can do things yourself, isn’t it?
Everyone likes receiving money, and it’s the easiest gift to give. Unfortunately, a pile of bills is often considered tacky. On the other hand, roll them up into flower shapes and it’s considered art. A brilliant ruse to make the simplest of transactions socially acceptable.
This sculpture is not, despite all appearances, the work of some sort of demented robot clown, but it is the perfect housewarming gift for the person who appreciates a little whimsy with their modern art. It’s a wonderful conversation starter, and it will never, ever pop.
High quality craft beer deserves a vessel made to the same exacting standards. Leave the pitchers for the Bud Light. An insulated, pressurized micro keg is the best way to dispense a fancy brew when taste and freshness really matter. The perfect gift for parties, casual gatherings, or personal consumption.
Here’s a gift that will make them appreciate how easy it is to just go to the store and buy a bottle of wine. But before that appreciation has fully cultivated, they’ll spend countless hours trying to perfect their own special blend with this wine making kit. It’s a pretty simple process at its core, after all, prisoners make wine in the toilets, but a tough one to master. At the very least, we’re positive that they will not make the worst wine on Earth with this thing, but we would taste with caution.
Pepper is an in-your-face spice, and its essence has nothing to do with subtlety. Here is the perfect vessel for the preeminent seasoning at the table. Let this beautifully crafted ebony grinder tower over the other lowly flavors, including its eternal rival, salt. Any other symbolism we’ll leave up to your imagination.
For many people, donuts are the only reason to get up in the morning. Despite this, we’ve been told over and over how unhealthy they are, being fried balls of dough and all. Well, this donut pan will remove the final psychological barrier to full enjoyment, because it takes out the frying. Take that, food police. Oh, and it’s a lot cheaper too.
Along with abundance comes the responsibility not to bore the crap out of people by making the same silly casserole every night. The problem is that nobody wants to think that much about food. They just want to eat. Place the burden of creativity - and blame - on these ingenious foodie dice, and watch the possibilities multiply.