Gummy bears used to be cute until you knew what was inside of them. Pass the word on with this realistic larger-than-life plastic illustration of the insides of what used to be your favorite candy. Don’t let the candy manufacturers get away with this disgusting ruse any longer.
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Your friend or loved one may have already started to suspect something about the inherent absurd futility of life. If not, then perhaps you can inform them with this gift, which is an extraordinarily apt illustration of the horrifying predicament in which we the living find ourselves. Doing exactly what it says on the package, this box has no purpose other than to instantly turn itself ‘off’ when you try to turn it ‘on’. Despite being useless, we have to admit it does have a certain charm.
For the nuke-obsessed friend who’s searching for a tad more naturally occurring radiation in their life, this handy rock will make them feel like they’ve got some atomic ammo in their pocket. This harmless dose of unenriched uranium may not impress Kim Jong-un, but it’s sure to fire up some good old fashioned chit chat about the periodic table and perhaps even educate a few clueless heads about Earth’s metals. A great gag gift for the Cold War fanatic in your life, this powerful element packs a punch!
Keep your head and face warm without the commitment (or testosterone) it takes to grow an actual beard! These knit beanies with detachable face fur are as funny as they are functional. From biker to barbarian, Viking to vagabond, there is a Beard Head for every taste and style.
Relieving yourself into an empty beer can might seem like a bright idea, but it doesn’t quite make the grade at the country club golf course. For all those chaps who can’t seem to get that coveted hole-in-one, this discreet port-a-potty is the next best thing. That handy-dandy golf towel wasn’t just made for polishing the five irons … talk about the perfect-sized curtain for answering the call of nature. Don’t let a full bladder spoil your eagle on the 9th hole. Drain that lizard in style and tee up like a true gentleman!
Learn why playing Russian roulette is a bad idea the safe way with this hilarious gag toy set. Just fill a balloon with water (or blood, whatever), secure it inside the ring, put it next to your head, and pull the trigger. A little pin may or may not pop the balloon. And nobody gets hurt.
Welcome. It’s nice, we guess, but how sincere does it seem as you are wiping your boots or knocking on the door? Wouldn’t you love to open your door to guests who are already laughing at your jokes? Get the perfect doormat to make your friends laugh every time they come or go.
For all those star-starved city dwellers and constellation lovers, these twinkle-packed envelopes deliver endless entertainment. A much tidier alternative to adding glitter to that special greeting card, these delightful pouches double as a mindless distraction for the overworked, uninspired gift recipient on your list. Infuse a little celestial joy into that routine correspondence and provide an escape from the everyday mundane. Snail mail just might be making a comeback!
Giant fish that swim in the air? Isn’t that against the very laws of nature? Yeah, kind of, we guess, but these are filled with helium and are controlled with a remote, so it’s really not as dramatic as all that. Stays inflated for up to two weeks, and can be refilled over and over again.
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
