If there’s one skill that every responsible citizen should have, it’s the ability to access things that aren’t theirs. But you better believe you don’t get there without practice. Some day they’re bound to come across something they want that has been locked away by some other thoughtless and selfish human. Don’t let them approach this dark situation unprepared.
If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. If you know someone who has refined taste buds, this might even include cheese. But before you go buying a water buffalo, you should know that you can buy the enzymes and all that by themselves and then add milk later. The rest of the animal is incidental, inconvenient, and frankly dangerous.
Someone went and leveled up the fish bowl. This is the perfect gift for that big-picture thinker who digs sustainability and balance. Also for anyone who wants a pet they don’t have to take care of. The organisms in this eco-sphere take care of each other, maintaining perfect aquatic harmony. Go ahead, write a poem about it.
Chocolates used to (and perhaps still do) come from factories run by shady recluses and populated by obese midget slaves. Or at least that’s what the video evidence suggests. But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. Stick it to big business by giving someone this home chocolate making kit and help them join the artisan revolution. A whole new way to make chocolate “guilt free”.
The 50th birthday is probably the last time you can get away with “over the hill” jokes. From here on in, these kinds of jokes will sound more like observations. Take advantage of your last chance to pick on the old guy by putting together a basket of embarrassing senior citizen’s products like prune juice, orthopedic shoe inserts, hemorrhoid cream, Metamucil, Depends diapers, Beano, and reading glasses.
As anyone facing their 50th birthday is all too aware, aches and pains are a daily part of life. This Inflatable Heated Whirlpool Spa can help soothe those ever present annoyances without breaking the bank. It might even make them feel like 40 again!
You probably know someone who would like their own personal supply of organic produce but doesn’t have the time to manage a multi-acre farm. Or go to the grocery store for that matter. This is also a great gift for the healthy eater who’s too busy to garden or who tends to kill everything they lay their hands on.
Sturdier, more convenient, and easier to handle than traditional kabob skewers. No more forgetting to buy skewers and having to eat raw steak and vegetables or cook with their bare hands. Not every brilliant solution has to be high tech. Some just make a lot of damn sense.
It’s never too early to spread the love. And with this heart-shaped waffle maker, all they have to do is spread the batter, and all the love symbolism comes popping out by itself, like magic. Alas, these delicious creations are destined to be just as fleeting.
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
