Sweat lodges are dangerous … and who has money lying around for weekly spa treatments anyway? Invest in a life-changing gift that will melt away pounds, pain and tension while being surrounded by the comforts of home. Zip up, zone out and tune in to the natural healing powers of the human body. Let the excess stress and weight drip from your pores and open up the channels of wellness and good health.
Imagine walking along a secluded beach to a secret, deserted cove. You lay on the pristine sand, soaking up the sun, just waiting. And then it happens. Someone has followed your trail; they have received your message. “Follow Me,” said your right footprint. “Bring Beer,” said your left. And they did.
Giant fish that swim in the air? Isn’t that against the very laws of nature? Yeah, kind of, we guess, but these are filled with helium and are controlled with a remote, so it’s really not as dramatic as all that. Stays inflated for up to two weeks, and can be refilled over and over again.
Who needs mink coats when they can have the whole kit and caboodle made from plush fur balls? Put that puss to work and crank out some nifty doodads that will have everyone and their tabby ooh-ing, aah-ing and purring from sun up to sun down. A gift anyone can really wrap their paws around, this handy guide is a humane, albeit quirky, collection of charming ideas for the feline lover on your list. Simply meow-velous!
Make fish jealous and friends queasy with a package of earthworm jerky. Packed with protein, these all-natural snacks really put the gag in gag gift. Great for toddlers and blind folk, or for anyone who likes to freak out their family. Clean and ready to eat. Hold the dirt.
Look, we know that not everybody needs to have a giant five pound gummy bear, but not everybody technically needs pants, either. Having a giant gummy bear is like having a pair of pants: once you have one, it is hard to imagine life without it. The point is that need has nothing to do with it.
This is not your grandfather’s Kit Cat Clock, but it is, ironically the size of a grandfather clock. The modern classic gets a big size upgrade, but the iconic smile, rolling eyes, and swinging tail are all still here. You’re going to love this giant kitty.
A mysterious wood and metal box featuring a single switch on top. When the switch is flipped, gears whirl into motion. The top opens up, and a tiny disembodied finger emerges to flip the switch back to its original position. The finger retreats back inside; the box closes. And that is it.
This killer accessory is hardly a gag gift. The recipient of this fine headwear will be commanding respect on the racquetball court and sopping up sweat in style while weed whacking the front lawn. There’s something irresistibly strapping about mullets, and there’s no doubt they’ll reemerge as a hairdo trend if not in this decade, certainly the next. Of course, the lucky stallion that’s sporting this feathered mane has to have the proper attitude to match and that just can’t be taught, so give wisely, my friend!