Shiatsu Foot Massager
Nobody wants to touch your feet, so stop asking. And we know you don’t want to touch anybody else’s either, so if you want someone’s feet to feel better this is the only ethical choice. And with switchable heat and nonstop movement, this is way better than any human could do anyway. All without the complaining or the feeling of obligation to reciprocate in some way.
Bonsai is the ancient art of cultivating miniature versions of shrubbery or trees through careful maintenance. Bonsai are sometimes grown for hundreds of years, shaped by different owners over multiple generations. But don’t be intimidated, nobody’s asking your gift recipient to make that kind of commitment. Many people consider growing a bonsai tree to be a highly meditative and spiritual process, and other people just think they look really cool. If you know someone with a green thumb who’s going to be stuck around the house for a while, this could be a great companion.
Don’t you find it ironic that even though tens of thousands of years have passed, and countless technological innovations stand between us and our hunter-gatherer ancestors, many of us now have to go even farther to get our food? There’s something backward here. But as the modern digital age has taught us, the Internet fixes everything. And nobody who’s recovering from an injury or illness wants to go out and collect their food. This is how the modern tribe takes care of their members in need.
Everyone’s heard the phrase, “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.” Typically, this is nothing but a trick used to make the act of backstabbing easier. Luckily, technology being what it is, you almost never have to rely on anybody else anymore. This telescoping back scratcher lets even the most immobile sufferer get to that nasty itch. It’s a get well gift that helps them look out for #1.
This may sound like a recklessly bold claim, but we have the studies to prove it. We took all the blankets in the world and rubbed them up against a very soft person, then listened to how much they cried. This one elicited a mere whisper.
What hard working person has not at one time wished for a warm-blooded giant to place his hands on their shoulders and ease their weary muscles? That was the inspiration behind this cordless neck and shoulder heat wrap. Aches and pains simply melt away under its heavenly influence, and with a maximum temperature of 120 degrees, it reaches the really deep muscles that no giant can soothe without inflicting skeletal injury.
In reality this translates to, “I’m a hopeless klutz, but nobody thinks I’m important enough to throw someone else down the stairs in my place,” but that would probably take up both sides of the shirt. And part of being a good friend involves making people proud of their shortcomings. This get well gift kind of makes them feel like a badass for busting their sh*t.
Our bodies rely on light from the sun to calibrate our internal clock, provide us with energy, and support and regulate our moods. Unfortunately, if you’re stuck inside, you can’t bring the sun inside with you. And if you live in a high-latitude or cloudy area, you’re also screwed. But lucky for all of us, science has made the sun obsolete (almost). A light therapy lamp is a perfect get well gift for someone who needs a convenient emotional or physiological boost while they’re ailing.
This is the perfect choice for their bedside reading lamp - a light bulb that actually promotes sleep. Typical bulbs emit a specific type of blue light that suppresses melatonin, but that wavelength of color is filtered out of this bulb that is used by NASA to help astronauts sleep in space.