Stun Gun Flashlight
For fending off a mugger, they’ll thank you. For fending off annoying dogs, children, co-workers, and sometimes even you – they’ll really thank you. While it’s a high price to pay, take comfort that it’s worth it for their protection. And for the film you’ll catch of them inevitably testing it on themselves.
This sculpture is not, despite all appearances, the work of some sort of demented robot clown, but it is the perfect housewarming gift for the person who appreciates a little whimsy with their modern art. It’s a wonderful conversation starter, and it will never, ever pop.
Along with abundance comes the responsibility not to bore the crap out of people by making the same silly casserole every night. The problem is that nobody wants to think that much about food. They just want to eat. Place the burden of creativity - and blame - on these ingenious foodie dice, and watch the possibilities multiply.
Chocolates used to (and perhaps still do) come from factories run by shady recluses and populated by obese midget slaves. Or at least that’s what the video evidence suggests. But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. Stick it to big business by giving someone this home chocolate making kit and help them join the artisan revolution. A whole new way to make chocolate “guilt free”.
It used to be the only way to smell like your favorite alcohol was to get so drunk it came out of your pores. Although a few people have probably tried using whiskey as cologne, too. Thank god someone finally came up with a better solution. Beer soap uses real craft beer ingredients to make rich, fragrant soap that not only smells great but nourishes your skin with natural vitamins and nutrients.
Someone went and leveled up the fish bowl. This is the perfect gift for that big-picture thinker who digs sustainability and balance. Also for anyone who wants a pet they don’t have to take care of. The organisms in this eco-sphere take care of each other, maintaining perfect aquatic harmony. Go ahead, write a poem about it.
Some people need visual feedback in order to understand their progress. With these right and left brain bookends, they can literally watch as their mind expands with each book added to the shelf. Of course, they still have to read them to absorb the knowledge. Let’s hope you don’t have to explain that.
Save them from trekking all the way down to the local ice cream chain store and waiting in line for some 16 year old who hates everything about them to shovel a handful of mass-produced ice cream into a paper cup and then charge them eight dollars while rolling his eyes. Life is so much more pleasant when you can do things yourself, isn’t it?
The first time they filled the basement with batteries was just before the Y2k crisis. Or if they’re old enough, perhaps during the cold war. In both cases, nothing really happened. But maybe three times is a charm. Even if the modern world doesn’t collapse on itself, you’ll be giving them peace of mind knowing that their 84 remote controls will always be well fed.