The Key to a Happy Marriage
For centuries people have been asking for the key to a happy marriage. It’s a wonder that it took so long for someone to finally make it. Judging by the demand, they’re going to make a killing off of this. And though we have not yet held the product in our own hands, visually it fits the bill: elegant, simple, and to the point, with just a touch of sentimentality. This is the key that opens the most impenetrable of doors, the door to the human heart.
Nothing says “I love you” better than the ultimate aged bottle of liquor! Celebrate the enormous accomplishment of surviving decades together and toast to the years of bliss that lie ahead. Who needs another pearl necklace? A tie clip? Forget about it! Set this trophy atop the mantle and revel in success.
When that rich jerk down the street buys a new Porche, you’ve got a choice to make. You could respond in kind by getting next year’s model and parking it right in front of his house so he has to look at it all day, or you could choose a more tasteful display of your accomplishments like this family milestones wall art. Buy this for your parents so they don’t become the jerks down the street.
Who says the Stars of Fame can only be found in Hollywood? A few decades on Earth certainly qualify your parents for this celestial honor and who better to bestow them with this gift but you? Take the quantum leap and celebrate Mom and Dad's anniversary with a personalized jewel in the sky.
When the dust bunnies have started to form into felt snowballs, the stovetop still has remnants of last year’s Bolognese sauce and that stubborn ring just won’t budge from the toilet bowl, it’s time to call in the big guns. Gift your parents with the citrus scents of clean and let the housekeeping professionals restore shine and hygiene to the Mom and Dad cave.
After a long and happy marriage, bar the arguments over leaving the toilet seat up, it’s important they stay healthy so they can enjoy many more years together. These edible arrangements are a great alternative to flowers and look good enough to eat. Scrap that, they are good enough to eat, literally.
If you’re considering going with gift as common as flowers, you might consider stepping it up a few dozen notches by dipping them in 24k gold. Just gather up all your extra gold, melt it in your crucible, and toss in your plants. Or just buy this Eternity Rose instead. Actually, it’s probably electro-plated not really dipped in molten metal, but you get the point.
Giving the gift of roses on an anniversary is pretty traditional, but since roses just wilt and die shortly after they’re received, they’re really not a good symbol for ever-lasting and growing love. These beautifully preserved roses will never wilt and require no care or water.
After years and years together, there really aren’t many surprises left, and maybe that’s a good thing. But that doesn’t mean that all surprises are bad. Show your parents how much people still like them by getting all those people to hide in a room and startle the crap out of them.