The Self-Contained Hootenanny
You could buy them a 17 man band that could live in the corner of their den and serenade them every day, or you could just go with this unique piece of furniture that can play 17 instruments at once. Plus this pneumatically controlled Hootenanny can remember how to play 13,000 songs.
Back in the old days you were really rolling the dice when you chose a hotel. Either you called blindly after skimming the phone book or simply drove all night and hoped you saw a vacancy sign before you ran out of gas and got murdered by a vagrant. A hotels.com gift card is not just a way of picking up the tab for a night’s stay; it’s also the priceless gift of peace of mind.
The last thing anyone wants to do after a long day is wrack their brains trying to figure out what to drown their sorrows with. That’s really the last straw. With this beautiful, handcrafted set of drunk dice, the possibilities are endless—and so are the regrets. But hey, a party isn’t complete until things get a little dicey..
If you’ve ever suspected that you can’t trust your tongue, here’s proof. Adding volatile scents to these specialized forks completely changes the experience of eating, as your brain processes much more information through your nose than your tastebuds. Give this as a gift and help them have the weirdest, most surreal dinner parties in the neighborhood.
Certain small items like keys, wallet, and sunglasses have a bad habit of getting lost when they’re most needed, so it’s nice to have a dedicated spot for them. Ikea probably has a solution for that, but for the love of god, it’s time to stop relying on the Swedish to solve all of your problems. This nice man in Oregon put together a very unique bowl that would look great on someone’s coffee table.
How many times have they said, “I know this town like the back of my hand”? Present them with this accurate jigsaw representation, sit back, and ask them to prove it. Or stoke their nostalgia with a puzzle version of their long-lost birthplace. A great choice for a more personalized gift.
If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. If you know someone who has refined taste buds, this might even include cheese. But before you go buying a water buffalo, you should know that you can buy the enzymes and all that by themselves and then add milk later. The rest of the animal is incidental, inconvenient, and frankly dangerous.
It used to be the only way to smell like your favorite alcohol was to get so drunk it came out of your pores. Although a few people have probably tried using whiskey as cologne, too. Thank god someone finally came up with a better solution. Beer soap uses real craft beer ingredients to make rich, fragrant soap that not only smells great but nourishes your skin with natural vitamins and nutrients.
Lobsters have many, many great qualities, not least among them are their nutritional and flavor profiles. But they’re dumb as dirt, exceptionally slow, and don’t drive. So if it’s inconvenient for you to go all the way to the ocean to find the best lobsters, you’re going to have to get someone to mail them to you. Thankfully, lobster mail is now a reality.