Things That Might Kill You
Does your friend still seem to think they’re invincible even as their 30th birthday approaches? Give them the gift of a creeping sense of their own mortality with this book that can trigger existential crisis and gales of laughter in equal measure.
Look, soap is great. Nobody’s denying that. But you have to realize that while it does make you clean, it doesn’t accomplish the one thing that so many people wish it did: cover them in chocolate. For obvious reasons, however, being covered in chocolate is a somewhat dubious goal. After all, they would have to wash it off right away to avoid getting it on the furniture. This chocolate soap is the perfect compromise: they get to cover themselves in chocolate and somehow get cleaner at the same time. And wow, it really smells good too.
Certain small items like keys, wallet, and sunglasses have a bad habit of getting lost when they’re most needed, so it’s nice to have a dedicated spot for them. Ikea probably has a solution for that, but for the love of god, it’s time to stop relying on the Swedish to solve all of your problems. This nice man in Oregon put together a very unique bowl that would look great on someone’s coffee table.
There comes a time in every young person’s life when they realize that they are more excited about getting a great deal on a jumbo pack of toilet paper than they are about getting tickets to an upcoming music festival. That time usually comes right around their 30th birthday.
A thirty year-old should have learned a thing or two about how to do stuff the best, cleverest, or most efficient ways, but some people aren’t as quick on the uptake as others. For them, there’s this book. They can learn all the tips and tricks their quicker cohorts have figured out for themselves.
We think the word is out on how great an Amazon Prime membership is. The free shipping on millions of products? That giant video library? Sign us up! No, seriously, sign us up. Please? And you should sign someone you love up as a 30th birthday gift too while you’re at it.
What other diversion affords the opportunity to let out both bloodcurdling screams and unrestrained giggling while indulging in sweet candy treats? Embrace the carefree silliness of youth and give them a little license to check out for a few hours. Responsibility can wait. Slap on that wristband and hop on the ride of a lifetime.
Admittedly, this is kind of a niche gift. But somehow, inexplicably, this has become a giant niche. Fans of the animated sitcom - as well as the associated blog, comic book, and soundtrack album - will have a great time geeking out to these real life, chef-tested recipes for the outlandishly-named burgers the show is famous for.
This birthday, why not give them a bouquet of something they actually want – like the chance to win the lottery and retire early to travel the world in a super yacht! Plus, if they win, they’re sure to share their millions with you, right? Right?? Jon, can you hear me, you seem to be sailing in the other direction…?