Star Wars isn’t just a movie franchise. It’s a state of mind. For some of us, perhaps a regrettably permanent state of mind. But it doesn’t matter whether you understand it or not — you just need to know that for a fan of the Star Wars universe, getting a new Star Wars gift is sort of like Christmas times a million. Even if it is, in fact, Christmas. Because Star Wars is life times a million. Just take our word for it.
Being a true Jedi warrior is about more than just wielding a big, dangerous lightsaber. You must master all of the primary arts of interstellar warfare — from hand-to-hand combat, to spaceship dog fighting, to strategic maneuvering. It’s like being a special forces space ninja — except way cooler and more deadly. And as a bonus, once an initiate has learned all of the critical skills of Jedihood, regular life just seems like a breeze.
You may think all tape dispensers are created equal, but that would be a grave mistake. There’s a good chance that the one sitting on your desk is merely getting the job done, just scraping by with the bare minimum. That’s all fine and dandy until the s#!t hits the fan. At that point, you’re going to want a tape dispenser built for war. The Star Wars At-At tape dispenser is the perfect gift for anyone who works daily at the brink of chaos.
For the serious fanboy or fangirl, few things compare to holding a signed film print or photo print, knowing the object of your cinematic affection scrawled their sweet name across the surface of the page with their own sweet hand, maybe even with their favorite pen they keep tucked away in their sweet little pocket. There are few ways in this life to feel more connected to a fictional intergalactic humanoid or extraterrestrial space warrior.
For those of you who don’t know, back in the old days if you wanted to learn about something you had to go to the library and pick up a real physical book (like a legit book book) that had information about everything in the world in alphabetical order. This is like one of those, but it’s way less boring, because in an old-time encyclopedia everything is “real.” The Star Wars encyclopedia is all about Star Wars, which is way better than what you’ve been calling “reality.”
For some fans, it’s not enough to simply watch their favorite characters on the big screen. Nor is it enough to read their memoirs or biographies, or attend their in-person public appearances. No, some fans are never satisfied until they can consume the very same foods their favorite characters ingested. After all, you are what you eat. So what better way to become Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, or Darth Vader (in fact, why not all three?) than to mimic their diets? The Star Wars cookbook brings that obsessive dream within reach.
Every epic film and legendary TV series needs a dedicated “behind the scenes” guide. Because there is no level of minutiae too small for the true die hard fan. In fact, a Type A Star Wars fan will have no problem poring over page after page of George Lucas’ discarded script drafts and personal notes, and reading through detailed accounts of the origin and evolution of individual characters. There’s enough behind-the-scenes factoids and anecdotes here to induce a genuine nerd coma.
The Star Wars series has filmed at many locations across this great globe, from white-blanketed frozen tundras, to dense forests, to the barren desert, and just about everywhere in between. And each one of these locations is likely to give a die hard fan something like an out-of-body experience. A filming location visit makes an ideal stop-off point on a longer road trip, as well as a great standalone trip for the severely Star Wars afflicted.
As of right now, you can’t go back in time to witness the filming of Star Wars (or anything else for that matter). But you can buy a timeless little piece of history in the form of an original film clip from The Empire Strikes Back. This unique and authentic piece of memorabilia is sure to send a true fan over the moon. And really, isn’t a space trip what they’ve always wanted?
Anywhere you travel, even in the far corners of the universe, free candy is always appreciated. And all the better when it’s offered up by adorable pint-sized versions of some of the most legendary figures in the galaxy. From the diabolical Darth Maul to the wise and friendly Yoda, each of these decorative servants is eager to satisfy the sweet tooth of every passerby. Tickling your guests’ taste buds is one of the best ways to earn their goodwill and loyalty, and the cast of Star Wars is happy to help.
Everyone appreciates the feeling that somewhere far above, someone is looking down on us benevolently. Yet we’ve never been able to agree on who that is. For a certain group of film buffs, it’s the faces on these prayer candles: Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Princess Leia, and — for a troubled few — Darth Vader. And given the great cosmic mystery that is outer space, for all we know Star Wars may be closer to a documentary than we every dreamed.
Leaping into interstellar combat without the proper training can be a catastrophic mistake. The Luke Skywalker Battle Simulation Helmet provides a future Jedi warrior with an immersive experience that will at least give them a taste of what they’re in for. The Battle Simulation Helmet is the single best way to experience a galactic dog fight with Empire spacecraft, without having to risk life or limb. Consider this the training wheels of intergalactic warfare.
It may only be a crass exercise in capitalistic branding, but on the other hand, it’s Star Wars. There’s literally nothing that can’t be made better by adding the word Star Wars to it — and that includes everything from body parts to kitchen appliances like this waffle maker. Star Wars is the most dramatic reminder in popular culture of how a few brave souls can change the course of history for us all. So every time they hear the satisfying sizzle of waffle batter cascading onto the hot griddle, they’ll remember the profound cosmic implications of their smallest choices.
Trivial Pursuit is only fun if it involves something you actually give a damn about. Otherwise, prepare to be bored to tears trying to answer questions like “What was Cleveland Browns owner Art Modell’s favorite underwear color” or “Who won Best Supporting Organic Vegetable Impersonation at the 1934 Oscars” or whatever. We’re all for the government passing a new law that says only Star Wars questions are allowed in Trivial Pursuit from now on. Until then, this is your only option.
For many people, using chopsticks is a skill that defies mastery. Like a hopeful Zen master sitting in the forest year after year, trying to hear the sound of one hand clapping, time after time the hapless chopsticker comes up empty. Even after years of dedicated effort, the Hunan style broccoli cascades back to the plate long before it reaches the lips. So once again, The Force comes to the rescue. These are the only chopsticks that carry The Force. At long last, problem solved.
It’s only right that visitors are given fair warning about the home they’re about to enter. And the more straightforward, the better. This Darth Vader welcome mat sends the message loud and clear: set foot in this house, and whatever happens is on you. This is the most direct way to offer a warm welcome, while also giving all visitors a heads up to the reality that awaits them on the other side of the threshold.
The classic periodic table of elements may display the real building blocks of the cosmos, but who cares? There’s no drama there. Just tiny stuff you can’t see, racing around and running into itself. Boooring. The Star Wars Periodic Table of Elements — as displayed on this t-shirt — tells the real story. This little chart gives you the template on which all of the sex, murder, heroism, backstabbing, and other shenanigans that determine the fate of the galaxy really take place.
No light shines as bright as the light of wisdom. Even better if that wisdom is delivered in weird syntax that makes you stop what you’re doing to figure out what you’re being told. That is, after all, Yoda’s whole schtick. Clever little bastard. This intricately crafted lamp includes one of his best-known motivational slogans — imploring the world, more or less, to “just do it.” Seriously, if you know any over-the-top Star Wars fans, just get this for them. It’s as close to a can’t miss gift as you’ll ever find.