Since the dawn of time, chaos, terror, and death have periodically rained down from the sky. Only the lucky were spared. But now we have weather radios, so you can go inside instead of dying. This one also conveniently charges your phone so the next hurricane doesn’t have to interrupt your game of angry birds.
Like the fairy godperson they never had, this smartphone-compatible homing device will always be there when they need it most. Think of the far-ranging implications of ending the problem of lost keys for good: it can save them from missed social dates, get them to work on time, and spare them the toxic neurological effects of chronic frustration. It may seem like a small gesture, but helping a poor soul stop losing their keys can be a life-changing gift indeed.
This sand-sifting surface will spoil all those beachgoers who crave the UV rays but don’t want little grains messing up their tan lines. Seagulls might not mind the crunch in their stolen ham sandwiches, but those avid beach bums loathe the dusty debris caking up their glossy skin. Even salty seawater is no match for this jumbo play pad. Sand is for the birds!
It’s never too early to spread the love. And with this heart-shaped waffle maker, all they have to do is spread the batter, and all the love symbolism comes popping out by itself, like magic. Alas, these delicious creations are destined to be just as fleeting.
When traveling, some people really like an element of predictability to anchor their experience in an unfamiliar place. With a recognizable name like Hilton, you know exactly what to expect. Unfortunately, that name and that predictability come at a premium. You can help take the sting out of a vacation’s most expensive element by picking up the tab ahead of time.
If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. If you know someone who has refined taste buds, this might even include cheese. But before you go buying a water buffalo, you should know that you can buy the enzymes and all that by themselves and then add milk later. The rest of the animal is incidental, inconvenient, and frankly dangerous.
Craft brewing has definitely taken over the beer industry. But with so many microbreweries and so much competition, it sometimes gets hard to keep up. And who knows what to make of the bizarre varieties taking over liquor store shelves? Orange pickled hibiscus springtime lager? Porcupine quill Mongolian stout? Good lord. Time to look into the homebrew options.
People get high on the strangest things these days, like oxygen. You may never have thought of oxygen as something people would use recreationally, but many high end spas and resorts charge around $1 per minute to breathe air with a higher concentration of oxygen. Another thing you might not know, too high a concentration can actually be harmful to breathe. These machines capture ambient air, filters it, and pumps it out with 43% more oxygen, which is the right amount to achieve the desired effects.
How many times have they said, “I know this town like the back of my hand”? Present them with this accurate jigsaw representation, sit back, and ask them to prove it. Or stoke their nostalgia with a puzzle version of their long-lost birthplace. A great choice for a more personalized gift.
Chocolates used to (and perhaps still do) come from factories run by shady recluses and populated by obese midget slaves. Or at least that’s what the video evidence suggests. But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore. Stick it to big business by giving someone this home chocolate making kit and help them join the artisan revolution. A whole new way to make chocolate “guilt free”.
Legal in all 50 states, this herb garden smokes the competition! The aroma of fresh herbs will bring serenity and well-being to their home and some much needed flavor to their cooking. Rosemary, thyme, dill, sage, oregano, the options are limitless! Green thumbs not required for this low-maintenance nursery. Sprigs of yummy goodness direct from Mother Nature.
The morning drinker: one of the most misunderstood fellow citizens. Once imbued with the spark of firewater, they can do anything, especially if it’s delivered with the bold energy rush of caffeine. You think we should eradicate morning drinking? Well, you can kiss all your favorite novels goodbye then, because all great authors are drunk by 10 am. But I guess if you want to try tricking someone out of their morning cup of whiskey, this would be the best way.
Sturdier, more convenient, and easier to handle than traditional kabob skewers. No more forgetting to buy skewers and having to eat raw steak and vegetables or cook with their bare hands. Not every brilliant solution has to be high tech. Some just make a lot of damn sense.
Who has time for trial and error? Folks today demand fast-acting, proven solutions to their everyday conundrums. A modern stand-in for the tried and trusted Farmer’s Almanac, this back pocket companion is more reliable than your great-grandmother and more concise than an open-ended Google search. Believe it or not, some of the “smartest” solutions have been around for ages.
For anyone who’s a fan of Tim Burton, this clock is an absolute essential piece to add to their collection. Even if they’re having a nightmare before they become 40, this is surely something that will bring a smile to their face. Beautifully crafted and brilliantly detailed, it’ll be loved for a long time despite it being a haunting reminder they’re getting older with every chime.
If there’s one skill that every responsible citizen should have, it’s the ability to access things that aren’t theirs. But you better believe you don’t get there without practice. Some day they’re bound to come across something they want that has been locked away by some other thoughtless and selfish human. Don’t let them approach this dark situation unprepared.
There are two reasons you’d buy this gift for someone. Either they’ve bought you a gift that you really weren’t too pleased with in the past and you’re returning the favor, or their musical skills are so bad, you need the world’s worst instrument to make them feel a little bit better about it. Whatever your reason for buying them an Otamatone, make sure you’re out of earshot before it comes out of the packaging.
Grilling doesn’t have to be a seasonal pastime anymore. This creative addition to your barbeque repertoire will bring the oven to the patio and some deliciously baked goods to the chef’s outdoor menu. The irresistible flavor of brick-oven fare will redefine your backyard and inject some home-cooked aroma into the too often smoky, greasy smells of the charcoal circuit. Who knew cooking out could be so refined?
Musical genius is not a prerequisite for this delightful sound machine. Whether it’s cranking out an original score or “Born to Be Wild,” the sweet melodies of this tabletop hurdy gurdy will capture the ears and lighten the hearts of all those who gather ’round for a listen. Add this customizable heirloom to the instrument collection and inspire a newfound appreciation for all things classic.
If they’re not too chirpy about turning 40, they’ll probably appreciate a bit of comfort food to make them feel better. Treat them to a bag of protein packed cricket chips, which help them feel better about age creeping and crawling up on them. In fact, they’re so delicious, we think they’ll forget about what’s bugging them completely.
The sounds of imaginary laser gun battles has filled homes across the world since the freakin' 1970s. Did the audio effects creator on the original Star Wars movie, Ben Burtt, have any idea the sound he used for blasters, the sound of a rock hitting a radio tower's support cables, would be mimicked for decades by millions of hyperactive kids and adults? Unlikely, but it was a genius idea anyway. Here's a gift that appeals to the interplanetary freedom fighting kid in all of us.