Everyone who grew up during the golden age of game shows dreamed of one day standing atop the glorious Plinko board, dropping metal biscuits and watching them bounce earthward in the direction of a richer destiny. But since few will ever experience that magnificent moment, we have a smaller, more realistic version for the drinkers of the world. This is Plinko for the people, and we call it Drinko. Because if they can’t end up richer at the end of the day, at least they can end up drunker.
Tagging your local supermarket might seem like a bright idea on a mischievous Friday night, but perhaps you should start with a canine canvas instead. Fido really has no choice but to comply with your graffiti-inspired creations and besides, he’ll bring your artwork to life by adding depth and texture to your compositions. Body paint has claimed a whole new species!
Chances are you’ll never get frisked in this hoodie … unless of course law enforcement wants to pat down some out-of-this-world plush “Chewie” goodness! A must-have for any Star Wars fanatic, this comfy zip-up is rugged, yet cuddly, and will grant the lucky owner instant Wookiee status. For all those drawn to space travel and epic fashion statements, this stellar jacket is light years away from all those earthly sweatshirts. Galactic greatness starts now!
After a long day at work, they’ll love to come home and fall face-first into the inviting crevices of this butt-shaped head haven. But this is not just a gag gift — this pillow happens to be a great shape to accommodate any sleeping position. With real butt-like tactile qualities, a silky inner lining, and removable yoga pant cover, they’ll look forward to stuffing their face right up in there every night. Soft, comforting, and ergonomical — they’ve never experienced booty sleep like this.
Slip on these snazzy gloves and go to town with some magical keystrokes that will tantalize the eyes and ears of friends and family. Left your ivory keys at home? No problem! These pantomime-inspired mitts will entertain the littlest of listeners and spark musical curiosity for hours on end. Add in some handmade percussion and a string instrument or two and engage in a little improvisational fun.
If you’re from the Americas, you may be surprised to find out that common gestures like the middle finger and the “ok” sign don’t travel as well as you might think. You also may (in case you’re not aware) want to be careful about how you scratch your chin while abroad. This is the perfect book for a frequent traveller who wants to know how to communicate all of the insulting, dismissive messages that just can’t be sent with words.
Though it is roundly considered bad taste to put socks on your face, no taboo exists against doing the opposite. In fact, rocking a pair of face socks is likely to thrust one several notches up the status meter. It’s one of the most underutilized fashion secrets known to modern man (and modern woman). The ancient books counsel that power and prestige await those who carry the human countenance upon their footwear. These are truly the gateway to greater things.
You might call your toes “little piggies,” but the truth is that feet are the real workhorses of the human body. And we tend to be pretty merciless toward them for long stretches of the day, so it’s a nice gesture to show them some love when it’s all over with. And healthy feet make a happy human, so you could try giving a foot hammock to the most unlikeable person you know and see if it brightens them up a bit. Or better yet, give it to someone you like. Trust us, they’ll appreciate it.
For the musician who hates music, or for the kid whose parents you hate, there is the Otamatone, a “musical” instrument that makes the bagpipes seem reasonable. A touch sensitive bar on the neck changes pitch, while the little mouth at the bottom “sings” when squeezed. It all makes perfect sense (in Japan).
For those that like a challenge, this wall clock’s hands run counterclockwise, which makes telling time a real chore. We suggest secretly replacing a friend’s regular clock with the backwards version just to see how long it takes for them to notice this lovely gift. If only it could turn back time for real.
Way back when, Japanese noblemen used to wrap their feet in expensive fish to flaunt their wealth to the lower classes. The practice eventually stopped for two reasons: 1) society came to see it as disrespectful toward those who struggled to feed themselves, and 2) it made their feet smell even worse. But history repeats itself and fashion trends always make a comeback. These sushi-patterned socks offer all of the benefits of the old fish-foot tradition, and none of the less desirable social aspects.
Puns never get old. In case you didn’t catch it, this one makes reference to the common name shared by small digital storage devices and the largest of the human fingers. Actually, there’s another one: “digital” storage device. They just keep coming! This useful gag gift will really knock a computer nerd’s socks off. And if they aren’t wearing any, it’ll knock their feet off.
Is this sexy loungewear or what?! Sci-fi doesn’t just have to live on the big screen … galactic space fashion has invaded the cozy world of terry cloth and no closet should be without it. Stylish and futuristic, this fitting nod to the Star Wars empire should be an essential piece in every superfan’s closet. Give the tired robe look a visionary facelift with this droid-lover’s keepsake … the starship is waiting!
For those who love showing off their undergarments every chance they get, these snug gloves are the perfect fit! A quirky blend of sexy and juvenile, these novelty undie mitts exude confidence and witty playfulness. Who says briefs were only intended to hug the jewels of the lower region? Form-fitting handwear is freakishly hot. Tidy or soiled, these tighty-whities are the perfect prank for friends and foes alike.
Musicians and music lovers alike know the value of getting their kids involved in music from an early age. But what about their fur babies? There’s no cat cooler than a DJ cat, and this scratching pad turntable is the purr-fect place to hone their chops.
The LICKI brush is proof that everything has already been invented and is for sale on Amazon. Even a cat licking device. There are now no new ideas left. To repeat, LICKI is exactly what it looks like - a soft silicone brush you can hold in your mouth to lick your cat. There's no way your cat, or anyone else, will think this is weird, right?
There are a million ways to humanize our possessions. Adding accessories, giving them names, celebrating with them, unloading our insecurities on them and blaming them for our failures…we certainly do treat them like low-grade people. One of the things some people like to do is make them cute. And what’s cuter than a car with long, luscious supermodel eyelashes? Well, depends who you ask. But chances are you know someone who’s going to melt with joy if you buy these for them. Now if only they would invent some side mirror hoop earrings to complete the look.
Despite the name, this is not a brew for those who long for the numb darkness of the grave. Quite the opposite. This is the coffee for people whose nervous systems are at a near flatline without the addition of caffeine. Or crazy folk who enjoy sticking their wet fingers in light sockets and other similar experiences. This is all that, with the addition of a delightful roasted, nutty flavor. This is the darkest of dark roasts, for the darkest of dark souls in search of a fix.
Surprise that adventurous foodie on your gift list with some airbrushed enhancement. Dinner party guests will be raving about their meal as they throw down ordinary fare disguised with brilliant hues and metallic glaze. There’s no need for floral centerpieces or fancy place cards when the food alone adds just the right splash of colorful decoration. The latest in gourmet graffiti, these festive paints make everyday meals extraordinary!
It’s a good bet that more of us would stop to smell the roses if they were made out of beef jerky. “But,” you say, “if they were made of beef jerky then they wouldn’t be roses.” Well, that’s where you’re wrong. And that’s the beauty of human ingenuity. When one of us has a great idea, we can all benefit. And rest assured, much happiness will be experienced due to this magical invention. If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s appropriate to buy a man flowers, now you’ve got your answer.
It was only with the advent of modern society that we decided the broad world was no longer our toilet. This made us feel better about ourselves (and each other), but it’s so damn inconvenient. Thankfully some genius made this thing, which combines the best of both worlds - the carefree and the socially conscientious. Now we can feel whole again.
Why not reward the passive-aggressive person in your life with a playful beast that best personifies the light and dark sides of their personality? Raw emotional expression can be quite therapeutic and these cuddly critters are particularly gifted when it comes to delivering love and horror with just one forcible squeeze. Lifeless teddy bears are dreadfully dull and possibly creepier than these cheeky creatures. This badass gift is sure to raise the shock factor at the next occasion!
Insulting others using common language makes one a contemptible character, a low rascal. But casting insults using the verbiage and expressions of literary masters elevates one to a rare level of nobility. Unfortunately, not everyone possesses the linguistic chops to construct their own highbrow verbal slights, and that’s where this handy chart comes in. Conveniently arranged in visual form for easy reference, it’s the perfect guide for someone who would like to be revered (instead of despised) for their nastiness.
For some people, there’s just too much positivity in the world. They can feel it everywhere, like a heavy weight dragging them upward - it’s enough to inflate them with a sense of all-encompassing dread. For these people, darkness, negativity, and black humor are like a cool, shady oasis in the desert. They know that traditional fortune cookies are only there to manipulate us into relaxing so that life can blindside us with its evil plans. The world is always laughing in our faces - why should our cookies be any different?
We have long maintained that the only reason people think eating bugs is gross is because society is uptight about it. They taste fine! They are eco-friendly! The have lots of protein! Birds eat them, right? You think you’re better than a bird? You can’t even fly! Try them, we triple dog dare ya!
Goodie bags aren’t just for the under-12 crowd. Splurge on a few golden-years essentials for that special someone who’s embarking on a new, more mature phase in life. The silver-haired set deserves a little fun-loving TLC that will remind them of all the joys (and pains) that go along with lasting sixty-plus years on the planet. With a wealth of over-the-counter paraphernalia to choose from, this treasure trove of ointments, elixirs, enhancers and upgrades will convince them of just how precious they are.
Card games are a staple of the drunken party scene for a reason. They help break the ice and give people something to do through those long awkward moments early in the night when everyone is still mostly sober. They also keep those same people occupied and out of mischief later on when their inhibitions have been loosened up and they start getting ideas. Best of all, this game is simple and straightforward enough to keep anyone entertained for hours in between shots.
This is the old people version of buying them their own pool cue. Like every game of chance, bingo is ruled by the secret and unfathomable rubric of superstition. Using a borrowed dauber is like spitting in the face of the lottery gods. Not a good idea.
The absolute coolest gag gift ever, these incredible rhythm sensors will transform any air jam session into a full-on solo percussion performance. Friends and bandmates will be amazed by your skills as they join in with their own bodily sounds. Whatever the tempo, turn that thigh drumming, chest pumping and toe tapping into some recordable beats that will get any party jumping in no time flat!
Welcome to the high rollers club! This hefty wad of Benjamins is the ultimate gift for the money-hungry players on your list. Talk about immediate gratification … Enclose a pair of dark aviators, a squirt of hair gel and some ’tude to match and the lucky recipient will feel like they’ve won the cash kitty. Just advise them to proceed with caution though—that counterfeit bulge in their pocket might give them a renewed sense of confidence, but any careless misstep could land them on the FBI’s most wanted poster!
Perfect for lazy Sunday mornings on the bridge, these Original Show style bathrobes come in gold, blue, or red, and feature an embroidered insignia above the left breast and rank stripes on the arms. Drink coffee and explore the quadrant in these 100% cotton or microfleece ultra-casual uniforms.
When he’s not whipping up beats and ghetto-smooth flows, it turns out Snoop Dogg is busy whipping up tuna casseroles and birthday cakes. Who would have thought? But then again, given his chosen pastimes, it’s a good bet that he’s hungry more often than the average human. A holy fusion of soul food, classic dinner dishes, and Cap’n Crunch, there’s something for everyone in these pages. Time to get down on some dogg food.
The ultimate college food staple, also ideal for survivalists who want to go out in style. With individually wrapped noodle and cheese powder packets, this is about as imperishable a food item as you’re going to find this side of the Twinkie aisle. And the per-meal price of this gourmet dinner kit is absurdly low, especially for something that literally nobody has ever gotten sick of eating. Mac & cheese is the ultimate blank flavor slate, allowing the lucky food hoarder to create variety by adding in a few hot dogs, frozen vegetables — heck, why not dump in that stray bag of skittles. YOLO.
When was the last time you were truly challenged by your nuts? That’s the idea behind the Death Nuts line of super spicy peanuts for crazy people. This isn’t a “sit in front of the TV and relax” brand of nuts. This is the “Oh God, what was I thinking, why do I make so many bad choices” peanut. The culinary equivalent of self-flagellation. Except taking the Death Nut Challenge doesn’t earn you any points with God. Just a good hour of blinding pain that you didn’t even know was possible.
When someone drops a bomb with your name on it, the best thing you can do is light a candle with theirs on it. Not to pray for their soul, mind you, but to cleanse the shared airways. And since it’s always best to fight heavy artillery with heavy artillery, you don’t want to settle for any old candle. You want a high quality hand-poured candle with a scent that’s strong enough to fight off that of your antagonist. The perfect gift for anyone who lives with a documented intestinal terrorist.
Aggression sometimes gets a bad name, but the truth is that it’s only dangerous if misdirected. Many things in life should be aggressively pursued, such as happiness, growth, meaning, contribution — all of the warm and fuzzy stuff you see on posters. However, some people also feel the impulse to aggressively pursue verbal confrontation, or worse, opportunities to punch other people’s faces. For these folks, alternative avenues of release are really helpful. Here’s an opportunity to bring one of these alternative avenues to the most stressful environment of all: the workplace.