Sweat lodges are dangerous … and who has money lying around for weekly spa treatments anyway? Invest in a life-changing gift that will melt away pounds, pain and tension while being surrounded by the comforts of home. Zip up, zone out and tune in to the natural healing powers of the human body. Let the excess stress and weight drip from your pores and open up the channels of wellness and good health.
Poetry is the most appropriate art form for cats, because regardless of the author, nobody cares if a poem makes sense. In fact, the less sense the better. And cats are idiots. Creative, creative idiots, with agendas you never would have guessed.
If you don’t mind looking like an alien sea creature while cashing in on some well-needed Zzz’s, then you’ve hit the jackpot with this exceptional headpiece. Dozing off in public doesn’t have to involve neck-breaking episodes of whiplash and excessive dry mouth. Form-fitting and hands-free, this ingenious sleep aid offers just the right amount of ventilation and strategic padding to provide a cushioned resting place to cradle that exhausted head. Rest easy, sleepyhead, help is on the way!
Tagging your local supermarket might seem like a bright idea on a mischievous Friday night, but perhaps you should start with a canine canvas instead. Fido really has no choice but to comply with your graffiti-inspired creations and besides, he’ll bring your artwork to life by adding depth and texture to your compositions. Body paint has claimed a whole new species!
Goodie bags aren’t just for the under-12 crowd. Splurge on a few golden-years essentials for that special someone who’s embarking on a new, more mature phase in life. The silver-haired set deserves a little fun-loving TLC that will remind them of all the joys (and pains) that go along with lasting sixty-plus years on the planet. With a wealth of over-the-counter paraphernalia to choose from, this treasure trove of ointments, elixirs, enhancers and upgrades will convince them of just how precious they are.
Welcome to the high rollers club! This hefty wad of Benjamins is the ultimate gift for the money-hungry players on your list. Talk about immediate gratification … Enclose a pair of dark aviators, a squirt of hair gel and some ’tude to match and the lucky recipient will feel like they’ve won the cash kitty. Just advise them to proceed with caution though—that counterfeit bulge in their pocket might give them a renewed sense of confidence, but any careless misstep could land them on the FBI’s most wanted poster!
Surprise that adventurous foodie on your gift list with some airbrushed enhancement. Dinner party guests will be raving about their meal as they throw down ordinary fare disguised with brilliant hues and metallic glaze. There’s no need for floral centerpieces or fancy place cards when the food alone adds just the right splash of colorful decoration. The latest in gourmet graffiti, these festive paints make everyday meals extraordinary!
Who doesn’t need a little more magic in their life? Add in a dose of sugary sweet silliness and let the troubles of our earthly world just melt away. Whether you’re a believer or not, unicorns have a special way of inspiring happy thoughts dripping with toot-filled colorful rainbows and puffy cotton candy clouds. Crack open a whimsical bag of fairyland flatulence and lighten up even the dreariest of days.
If there’s anything that can make wine taste better, it’s a little frustration. If you think life in our rapid-delivery consumer culture is just a bit too easy, then teach someone a valuable lesson by making them work more than they anticipated for their reward. You’re not only giving the world’s oldest artisan beverage, you’re helping develop life skills.
Gummy bears used to be cute until you knew what was inside of them. Pass the word on with this realistic larger-than-life plastic illustration of the insides of what used to be your favorite candy. Don’t let the candy manufacturers get away with this disgusting ruse any longer.
Animal farts are the most genuine, because they are done without the slightest comic intent. You could even say human farting is a corrupted act, because everyone knows they’ll get a reaction. Help celebrate flatulence in purest form, with all the colors of the rainbow.
These coins allow the coin holder to show exactly what they give for another person’s opinion, feelings, or needs. It’s one thing to offer this information; it’s another thing entirely to have the minted currency to back it up. Help a friend put his money where his lack of empathy is.
If you thought your Ford Escort was hard to work on without a manual, try building or repairing an intergalactic spacecraft. Surprisingly, the internet is of little assistance. So short of kidnapping Elon Musk, this gives an aspiring cosmic explorer best chance of building their own space travel vehicle or getting their existing space travel vehicle in mechanical working shape. After all, they don’t want to get out into the cosmic void before they realize they’re driving a lemon.
The ultimate guide to what they should have learned already, with a title that communicates what you can’t bring yourself to say out loud. The world may be a nicer place than the one you grew up in, but it still can’t help punishing dumbasses. Help them get it together.
Sitting on the throne, for lack of a better term, isn’t the place where you tend to feel at your most gallant, but every king or queen needs a loyal knight to serve them and we’ve found just the man for the job. Always at hand when they need him the most, he won’t shy away from coming to their aid in even the most, er, challenging of situations.