We can’t emphasize this enough: you ride the motorized cooler full of drinks to the party, you drink its contents, and then you WALK it back home. Nobody wants to be the guy on the news who got arrested for drunk driving an empty cooler. So stay safe.
mBerry tablets are a natural product derived from berries that temporarily alter your perception of taste by binding to your taste buds and tricking your brain. It’s a pretty crazy experience and would make a memorable gift that they’ll be telling stories about for years. The tablets make sour and bitter things taste sweet. You can chow down on a lemon and swear it tastes like an orange. Vinegar tastes like apple juice. Hot sauce and spicy foods become sugary and beer tastes like Kool-aid.
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
If you’re going to make use of a hideous cliche, you might as well own it. In fact, go ahead and wear it. Better yet, give it to someone else to wear, and see if they have the cojones to pull it off. Sure, the company Christmas party is the safe place to bust this thing out. But do they have the guts to rock this in February? If so, you’ve got a real killer on your hands.
Few activities draw as much attention, ridicule, and humor as farting. But until recently, nobody thought to create a taxonomy based on this fundamental behavior. Here is a science-backed tour of the world of bestial flatulence, providing an enlightening context to an activity that we often take for granted, but that never seems to lose its novelty. The project was spearheaded by a trained, certified zoologist, so you can rest assured that this information will never let you down when it comes time to apply it in the wild. This is the definitive guide we’ve all been praying for.
When was the last time you were truly challenged by your nuts? That’s the idea behind the Death Nuts line of super spicy peanuts for crazy people. This isn’t a “sit in front of the TV and relax” brand of nuts. This is the “Oh God, what was I thinking, why do I make so many bad choices” peanut. The culinary equivalent of self-flagellation. Except taking the Death Nut Challenge doesn’t earn you any points with God. Just a good hour of blinding pain that you didn’t even know was possible.
When he’s not whipping up beats and ghetto-smooth flows, it turns out Snoop Dogg is busy whipping up tuna casseroles and birthday cakes. Who would have thought? But then again, given his chosen pastimes, it’s a good bet that he’s hungry more often than the average human. A holy fusion of soul food, classic dinner dishes, and Cap’n Crunch, there’s something for everyone in these pages. Time to get down on some dogg food.
Speed is dangerous, but some kinds are more dangerous than others. This one is mostly just fun. But be careful: once they’ve experienced the feeling of flying around the track, the engine roaring like a wild beast, the smell of smoldering rubber in the air, they may never quite be the same.
If you’re going to do something, do it the right way. That goes for buying a knife too. The last thing you want is to be in a life and death situation and have to say, “If only I had a fine-toothed miniature saw and I knew what time it was.” This pocket knife has you covered on both fronts. The only way we could imagine this knife being more loaded is if they added a miniature cannon or gave it time travel capabilities. The perfect gift for the survivalist who likes that extra layer of security against that “what-ifs”.
Great art doesn’t always take the form you’re expecting. Twitter gives everyone with a phone and an opinion to spare the chance to reach millions of people with a single ill-conceived utterance. With all that verbal garbage coursing through the airwaves, bizarre gems are certain to arise. Lest they drift away and go to waste, someone had the brilliant idea to start framing them. Move over Picasso, it’s time to make room for the real modern art.
Perhaps in an elaborate joke on us all, Prank-O has managed to create a profitable business selling empty boxes. The boxes aren’t meant to remain empty, however. Prank-O encourages people to “disguise your gift in a stupid box.” So, for example, you have actually bought a very nice gift for a friend, but put it in a box that claims to contain an Earwax Candle Kit, or Bacon Scented Dryer Sheets. Imagine the look on that poor friend’s face when they think you have given them something really ridiculous, stupid and disgusting. And the relief when they realize it’s just a joke.
Having to repeat yourself is such a bore. These comfortable foam sandals leave a clear message behind you, so you can give the command without opening your mouth. Trips to the beach will get a lot cheaper and easier now that your minions know exactly what to do.
If they don't already have a marinade injector it would make a perfect gift. And if they do, tell them to throw that junk away - this one is way nicer. Initially, the novice may wonder why they need a marinade injector. Of course, if they knew why they needed one they would, in fact, already have one. But they'll learn. And it will be a delicious process. And soon you'll reap the benefits when you're invited over for dinner and vodka infused watermelon.
The sounds of imaginary laser gun battles has filled homes across the world since the freakin' 1970s. Did the audio effects creator on the original Star Wars movie, Ben Burtt, have any idea the sound he used for blasters, the sound of a rock hitting a radio tower's support cables, would be mimicked for decades by millions of hyperactive kids and adults? Unlikely, but it was a genius idea anyway. Here's a gift that appeals to the interplanetary freedom fighting kid in all of us.
Animal farts are the most genuine, because they are done without the slightest comic intent. You could even say human farting is a corrupted act, because everyone knows they’ll get a reaction. Help celebrate flatulence in purest form, with all the colors of the rainbow.
These pepper boxes are for responsible cooks who are ready for the big leagues. Beware of gifting this to the oblivious or to anyone with a penchant for practical jokes — this is one serious box of flame. But for the true spice connoisseur, the assortment of capsaicin fury contained in each shipment unlocks a whole world of culinary experimentation. For most of us, hot is just hot. But for someone who understands the subtle differences between the many chili pepper varietals (or is interested in learning), some next level tongue magic awaits.
Conventional cookbooks are a longstanding staple of old time kitchens. But accepted as they are, they have a fatal flaw: they were written by total strangers, and therefore deserve to be regarded cynically by sophisticated modern users. The Family Recipes cookbook solves this problem, giving the owner a template that can be filled in with delicious instructions for cookery straight from the hands and minds of trusted kinfolk. Don’t let someone you care about fall prey to the demented culinary whims of some deranged outsider.
The beer world has truly exploded with breweries over the last decade-plus, which is great for anyone who likes trying new things. However, this proliferation of choice has a dark side. Dyed-in-the-wool beer lovers now face overwhelming anxiety every time they go to pick up a six pack or fill up a growler. The Craft Beer Club removes this pain point by making the necessary choices for all involved, so beer time can go back to being the sweet revelation it used to be.
Card games are a staple of the drunken party scene for a reason. They help break the ice and give people something to do through those long awkward moments early in the night when everyone is still mostly sober. They also keep those same people occupied and out of mischief later on when their inhibitions have been loosened up and they start getting ideas. Best of all, this game is simple and straightforward enough to keep anyone entertained for hours in between shots.
Chocolate and chili peppers go together much better than one might suspect. But chocolate and intense pain? That’s definitely a niche combination, one that takes a special kind of nonstandard personality to relish. Chances are, you know at least one such pathological eater. Not everyone is looking to be “challenged” by their chocolate, but to some of our more adventurous mouth masochists, that probably sounds like heaven. Just don’t blame us if this turns out to be a gateway to snorting wasabi.
Keeping practical supplies in the car in case of emergency is something we all should do – yet many people out there on the road haven't added so much as a band-aid to their car’s inventory. That’s right, in the event of a blizzard, those store receipts and empty fast food bags won’t save you. Shocking, we know. This Auto Survival Kit on the other hand…
Alright, enough pussyfooting around. Are you gonna open that damn bottle or not? This authentic 50 caliber shell will definitively end the standoff with any stubborn bottle cap, no matter how strong a fight it’s willing to put up. The Bottle Breacher is made by and supports veterans, and might pique the interest of an ex-military or historically-minded recipient. Using an actual bullet to crack open a well-deserved beer at the end of the day is surely a much nicer use for it than originally intended.
It’s no longer reasonable to allow your writing utensils to do single duty. These days, a pen that does nothing but write is a child’s toy. Actually, it’s even worse than that, because kids know better than to write by hand, what with all the voice recognition apps they have within arms reach at all times. That means pens are functionally useless. Let that sink in a minute. But not this pen, because it’s also several other things that can help the user accomplish something important. This is no gimmick. It’s a revolutionary tool, and the world will never be the same.
Bunster’s Shit the Bed Hot Sauce is a mix of super-hot chilies and healthy superfoods (like goji berries and apple cider vinegar). It’s also a crowdfunding phenomenon and a painfully delicious gift for any health-conscious masochist you might know. There are lots of gourmet hot sauces out there, but this one is unique and strange in a way that true hot sauce connoisseurs find irresistible. Their mouth is bound to have a love-hate relationship with this stuff.
There’s no substitute for hard work and a craftsman-like approach to getting things done. So when you sit down at your desk, it’s great to a have a little reminder that it’s time to roll up your sleeves and have at it. This message comes through loud and clear with a desktop toolbox. It’s also a great way for the hopelessly messy to clean up that atomic catastrophe of a workspace. No organization involved. Just gather all the junk into your arms and toss it into the generous confines of this stylish vessel where no one can see it. Sometimes appearance is everything.
Go big or go home. Wait, they can do both with these giant yard games! They’ll supersize the fun at backyard parties with these larger than life versions of the games we all played growing up. All sorts of giant games are available including checkers, chess, Connect Four, Yahtzee, Scrabble, Jenga and more.
Admittedly, this is kind of a niche gift. But somehow, inexplicably, this has become a giant niche. Fans of the animated sitcom - as well as the associated blog, comic book, and soundtrack album - will have a great time geeking out to these real life, chef-tested recipes for the outlandishly-named burgers the show is famous for.
Nobody wants to be forced to act responsibly at a barbecue. That defeats the purpose. Yet the grilltender holds everyone’s happiness hostage to his attention span. After five or six beers that doesn’t work so well. This wireless grill thermometer will send an alert to your phone that the steak you’re ignoring is ready for your mouth.
Bacon is the official food of the month, every month of the year. Now somebody has gone a step further and made a delivery service with a special kind of bacon for every month. Every time we go a level deeper with bacon it just gets better. Rumor has it Elon Musk is working on a bacon replicating machine. It’s about time he did something useful.
Every dinner party needs a little edge. After the guests have feasted upon the fine fare laid out in front of them and warmed their innards with wine, brandy, or some other fine spirit, it’s time for everyone to be reminded that ill-considered choices can indeed have bad consequences. But you see, the trick of this game is that the actions mandated on these cards only seem like ill-considered choices. They are, in fact, carefully selected and annotated experiments fully backed by science and reason, engineered to titillate and elicit grins and guffaws.
If you think that intoxicating substances and baseball don’t mix, consider that Doc Ellis once pitched a no-hitter while tripping on acid, and old time icons like Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, and Harry Caray were pretty much drunk all the time. This unique and meticulously crafted centerpiece is more proof of the divine intersection between the national pastime and…the other national pastime.
Keep your head and face warm without the commitment (or testosterone) it takes to grow an actual beard! These knit beanies with detachable face fur are as funny as they are functional. From biker to barbarian, Viking to vagabond, there is a Beard Head for every taste and style.
Do you know someone who’s always in search of the perfect hot sauce? Well, maybe the answer is to let them make their own. This kit allows you to experiment with different pepper, spice, and vinegar combinations until you find the holy grail of hotness. No more excuses, just hot pepper perfection.
They can make furniture as complicated as futuristic as they want; there’s a reason this is still the iconic symbol of relaxation. Its primitive-inspired luxury will never get old, nor will its timeless design. Nobody can look at a hammock without feeling the primal urge to jump in and take a long nap. Tropical dreams hide within.
Pepper is an in-your-face spice, and its essence has nothing to do with subtlety. Here is the perfect vessel for the preeminent seasoning at the table. Let this beautifully crafted ebony grinder tower over the other lowly flavors, including its eternal rival, salt. Any other symbolism we’ll leave up to your imagination.
If you know someone that has a bit of a competitive streak, we think we’ve got the perfect gift for them. Be prepared to go toe-to-toe with their bishops, knights and queens as you try to outmaneuver and outdrink them. In this game of chess it’s not just your king that needs to be last man standing.
For thousands of years, humans have relied on the sublime art of taxidermy to remember their deceased animal companions, and to turn the roving beasts of the wild that they have felled with their own hands into game trophies. Taxidermy is like a three-dimensional photograph, not only capturing a moment in time, but telling a story with a single image. When done skillfully, it produces noble, enthralling, and emotionally moving symbols that mark our experiences and interactions with the rest of the animal kingdom. But like anything else, there are some real freaking hacks out there. This is their book.
At a certain point, when you have too much stuff, more things just don’t do it for you anymore. At that point, if you’re smart, you start investing in superpowers. And trust us on this: every single man on the planet was a kid once, and every one of those kids wanted the power to see in the dark. To go where other humans cannot, to walk among the wild nocturnal animals as an equal, and to hide from their parents. They may not need to hide from their parents anymore, but that doesn’t make night vision any less awesome.
Instead of creating a game, a more cynical person would have made this a one-sentence book and that sentence would have been, “Everything important.” Thankfully, whoever made this wanted to be more specific and also make something fun to use, so they created this game full of weird trivia. A perfect gift for people who don't realize that they don’t actually know everything. This game is a great way to kick that door down and show them just how clueless they really are.
For the coffee and donut addicts of the world, it’s hard to believe that anything could improve this heavenly pairing. But that will make it all the more mind-blowing when they realize you have indeed given them something that will take the experience to another level. This truly ingenious piece of kitchen/office-ware provides the perfect platform on which the two elements meet to create the true breakfast of champions. Because if you’re going to do it, you might as well do it right.
This killer accessory is hardly a gag gift. The recipient of this fine headwear will be commanding respect on the racquetball court and sopping up sweat in style while weed whacking the front lawn. There’s something irresistibly strapping about mullets, and there’s no doubt they’ll reemerge as a hairdo trend if not in this decade, certainly the next. Of course, the lucky stallion that’s sporting this feathered mane has to have the proper attitude to match and that just can’t be taught, so give wisely, my friend!
They’ve survived this far living outside the bubble, but why push their luck? Give them this insanely fun inflatable bubble ball, and hope they’re inside it the next time they do something indescribably stupid. A great way to insulate themselves against life’s hard uncertainties.
Back in the day, carrying power with you meant having a pocket full of batteries. But sometimes 9-volt batteries would get short-circuited by your pocket change and heat up or explode on your leg, so you had to add potential medical bills to the cost of ownership. Or maybe that was just an urban legend. Either way, a mobile power bank will charge all your electronic devices, and you definitely don’t have to worry about meltdowns. Just way better all around.
This waffle maker creates fluffy, edible, interlocking bricks for making your own batter-based structures. It bakes 10 short bricks, two long bricks, and two individual bricks simultaneously that can then be stacked easily when removed for building waffle-based houses, huts, or cabins. Made from die-cast aluminum with a food-grade, non-stick coating, it accepts one’s preferred batter. Cleans with paper towels or soft cloth.
It has been prophesied that the apocalypse will not come via comet or nuclear war, it will come when the world’s caffeine sources dry up. But that’s not for another 15 or 20 years. Until then, it should be approached with a complete lack of self-control. Give them a leg up with a buzz you should need a prescription for.
Written by James Bond himself (or, you know, an actual real-life spy), this eye-opening book is packed full of genuine, practical tips for self-protection, and is a great present for any loved one or friend. Guaranteed to come in handy during a kidnapping, mugging or zombie apocalypse, you might just save their life one day.
It’s an underappreciated fact of the animal kingdom that all of its members can be made into jerky. Except maybe insects and jellyfish. And Sasquatch — but that’s only because you’ll never catch him. Everything else is fair game for the jerky racket. And once you’ve tried Buffalo Bob’s full array of exotic jerky offerings, you’ll understand that jerkyhood is perhaps the highest state that animals can achieve — like a sort of physical enlightenment. But delicious.
Sitting on the throne, for lack of a better term, isn’t the place where you tend to feel at your most gallant, but every king or queen needs a loyal knight to serve them and we’ve found just the man for the job. Always at hand when they need him the most, he won’t shy away from coming to their aid in even the most, er, challenging of situations.
This is essentially a big book full of trivia questions you’ll never be asked. But really, what is this obsession with “useful” knowledge? As they say, one man’s mental treasure is another’s cranial garbage. So when it comes to knowledge, quality and usefulness are always subjective. If you know someone who enjoys filling their head with obscure, bizarre, thought-provoking, and silly crap that nobody else cares about, this volume could be their new bible.
In case you haven’t gotten the memo, we’re basically wrong about everything, and here’s the proof. Even the stuff you’re pretty sure you know is mostly wrong. And we’re not talking about getting complex math problems wrong or misjudging the character of your friends. We’re talking about basic, simple facts in topics like history and science — the stuff you’re supposed to learn in school. Yeah, it was all a big bundle of lies and misunderstandings. And if you look back over your life, perhaps that explains a lot.
Machines have done so much for us, yet we continue to treat them as second or third class citizens. Celebrate their pensive side and help raise awareness for robot rights with this durable, functional cast iron lamp. Because if we don’t take care of them, one day they may stop taking care of us.
We are intelligent survivors by nature. Despite its ominous name, a worst case scenario can be a lot of fun, provided you have the tools available to pull a MacGyver-like exit. This little kit can save someone’s life over and over again. Check that, only their primal genius can save their life. But this lends a helping hand.