3D Anniversary Portrait
Encase your parents in crystal for all eternity, as a hologram that is. A unique monument to their ever-lasting love, this futuristic portrait is surely going on the mantle or the dashboard of their spaceship.
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We all like to think we’re larger than life, but in truth we’re really just branches on the grand tree of our ancestry. Screw that, most of us are just leaves at best. Some of us are maybe just a little speck of caterpillar vomit on one of those leaves (you know who you are). Your family tree doesn’t have to be that detailed though.
DIY
Let’s face it, power tools aren’t for everyone, especially your elderly parents. Hedge trimmers, leaf blowers, ride-on mowers … the list goes on. Weeding under a hot sun can be just as dangerous, and let’s not get started on weed whackers! Support your parents while caring for the Earth. Give this precious anniversary gift of green for just one day!
When did live music go out of style? Go ahead and raise the decibels a bit. This digital age of singular musical experiences is no cure for the weary minded. Give your parents tickets to an experience they’ll never forget. Get those toes tapping and hands clapping and let the rhythms set them free from the monotony!
Little Susie’s scribbles might be cute on paper, but it’s no match for a canvas masterpiece that will upgrade your parents’ walls from flat to fabulous! Bring unrivaled inspiration into Mom and Dad’s humble abode and transform their den into an artistic haven. Creative genius just found its new home!
When that rich jerk down the street buys a new Porche, you’ve got a choice to make. You could respond in kind by getting next year’s model and parking it right in front of his house so he has to look at it all day, or you could choose a more tasteful display of your accomplishments like this family milestones wall art. Buy this for your parents so they don’t become the jerks down the street.
Harry and David have better taste than you. You don’t think so? Then you must have a gift basket store yourself somewhere, right? That’s what we thought. Yeah, we know, you’re good at other things and your parents are still proud of you. But leave the gift baskets to the experts.
After a long and happy marriage, bar the arguments over leaving the toilet seat up, it’s important they stay healthy so they can enjoy many more years together. These edible arrangements are a great alternative to flowers and look good enough to eat. Scrap that, they are good enough to eat, literally.
Personalized gifts are always the best. A picture frame is one thing; it’s something else entirely to show them that you know exactly what they want to look at by loading it with pictures that will make them happy. Just make sure you get it right. Otherwise it comes across as a weird attempt at mind control.
Popular Gifts
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.