Life is too short for lifeless trinkets that end up collecting years of household dust. It’s time for the two of you to get your groove on and add a dose of bobblehead silliness to the nest. Save the oil couples’ portrait for your 30th anniversary—the five-year target calls for a more endearing, darling rendition of the smitten twosome at one of their favorite locales. Rock on, bobbleheads, rock on!!
There’s nothing simple about this unpretentious labor of love. A gentle depiction of the sincere bond between two human beings, this affectionate piece is just the humble companion you need to accompany you and your better half over the next forty-plus years. Reflect on what really matters this anniversary season … paying homage to the respectful connection you share with the holder of your heart.
Natural materials exude a timeless class that never goes out of style. In fact, it’s almost impossible to look bad when you’re wearing a wooden watch (that’s not an invitation to try). These beautiful accessories go with just about every wardrobe style - all the way from yuppie to hippie, and everything in between. Even a clown suit. And really, that’s the true measure of style: does it look good on a clown suit?
When date night comes around and both of you have empty pockets, an argument is bound to start about where all the money is going. With this beautiful date night savings bank, you’ll always have a pile of cash on hand, so you don’t have to scour the credit card statements and make accusations. Isn’t household harmony worth a few dollars here and there?
Is that diamond tennis bracelet beyond the constraints of your gift-giving budget? Perhaps a bouquet of three-dozen roses doesn’t quite convey the profound affection you feel for the one nearest and dearest to your heart. Look no further! This Waterford masterpiece is the perfect keepsake for this momentous five-year milestone. Delicate and exquisite, this solitary flower expresses purity and permanence and honors the steadfast beauty of your beloved.
Add some depth to that revered photo of you and your partner in life and love. As close to a hologram that the two of you will probably ever get, this lifelike portrayal communicates your lasting devotion and honors the enduring commitment you made just five short years ago. There’s no need for 3D glasses, and what’s even better, this nostalgic portrait doubles as a slamming paper weight. Purposeful gifts are the best!
If you’re considering going with gift as common as flowers, you might consider stepping it up a few dozen notches by dipping them in 24k gold. Just gather up all your extra gold, melt it in your crucible, and toss in your plants. Or just buy this Eternity Rose instead. Actually, it’s probably electro-plated not really dipped in molten metal, but you get the point.
The smooth sound of these wooden slot doors is almost as good as the warmth you’ll feel on your chest as you toast to the unbreakable bond between you and your significant other. Feeling extra festive after topping off bottle one? Meander down to drawers two and three if you so desire … there’s no shame in soaking up the whole set after five smashing years of relationship success. Replenish and repeat—this little chest of drawers will support the cause for years to come!
It’s never too early to spread the love. And with this heart-shaped waffle maker, all they have to do is spread the batter, and all the love symbolism comes popping out by itself, like magic. Alas, these delicious creations are destined to be just as fleeting.
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
