The Apple HomePod is a powerful smart home control center capable of running a wide array of household toys. It’s the perfect smart speaker for Apple addicts, since it uses Siri as its virtual assistant and naturally plays well with all of your other Apple devices. If MTV ever brings back Celebrity Deathmatch, we’re hoping for a Siri vs Alexa fight to settle this one for good.
No, those cold spots in the living room aren’t from evil spirits. Your thermostat just sucks. This one will optimize your heating and cooling in the rooms that matter most, and you’ll stop draining your bank account trying to get rid of Dracula’s ghost. A win-win.
The Bose Soundtouch gives you dramatic, room-filling sound in a slim, compact design. Mount on the wall right underneath your TV for a speaker that gives you the illusion of side surround sound without the need for extra speakers. The perfect way to really bring a home theater to life.
The Philips Hue system gives you complete control over your home lighting with every shade of white light you can imagine, 16 million different colors, and full integration with your smart home system so you can schedule your lights to do all kinds of tricks automatically. Instantly make your home as beautiful, soothing, or obnoxious as you want.
It’s not the only streaming box on the market, but for die-hard Apple users it might as well be. Not only because it integrates with Siri and all of your other Apple devices, or because it’s the only streaming device that can play your iTunes collection right out of the box. That’s all true, but here’s the real reason: the one with the golden ticket houses the ghost of Steve Jobs.
This is the smart TV for the price-conscious shopper who appreciates simplicity. With Roku’s streaming capabilities built in, you have instant access to all of your favorite online content. And it’s small enough to fit in the tiniest of dorms, so a college student you know can finally become the greasy-haired troll they always wanted to be, all without sacrificing entertainment.
Google is more or less the overlord of the world wide web, and now you can speak directly with your overlord through the Google Home smart speaker to turn off your lights, request directions to the proctologist’s office, or find out if it’s true that a duck’s quack doesn’t echo. While Amazon and Apple gave their virtual assistants sexy, mysterious names like Alexa and Siri, Google’s is simply Google Assistant. But what she lacks in Bond-girl sex appeal, she more than makes up for in smarts.
The Sonos Playbar looks inconspicuous, but it packs a serious sonic punch. It will dazzle your ears with three dimensional sound without the need for extra speakers, though it can be expanded with wireless surround sound speakers for a true theater-like experience. Don’t let your ears get jealous of your eyes - your big screen TV needs a new best buddy.
A great piece of meat is only good if you cook it right. And unless you’re going to crawl in the oven with it, it’s going to be hard to monitor it second-by-second so that you know the right instant to take it out. The meater uses wireless communication to signal that dinner is ready. Just like your primitive ancestors.
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
