If you’ve ever suspected that you can’t trust your tongue, here’s proof. Adding volatile scents to these specialized forks completely changes the experience of eating, as your brain processes much more information through your nose than your tastebuds. Give this as a gift and help them have the weirdest, most surreal dinner parties in the neighborhood.
In the world of minor annoyances that slowly wear you down, wet hand and footwear are right up there with highway noise and wet toilet paper. Thankfully, there’s no more need to wait two days for dry boots or gloves. Just pop them on this handy little machine, turn the heat up, wait an hour or two, and it’s go time.
Cotton candy brings back delicious memories of festivals, carnivals, and other favorite childhood events. But what about someone who lives in a crap town that even carnivals won’t visit, or is scared of clowns or strangers? Despite what your parents may have told you, cotton candy isn’t magic. It can be made right at home with a handy little machine like this.
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
Light the way through the dusk with these nontoxic glow in the dark pebbles. Adds a touch of the surreal to a house’s landscaping. Great for drunk homeowners who haven’t lived there long enough to tell the houses apart.
Life is often times very frustrating. It’s easy to eat a thousand pistachios a minute, but you end up with a mountain of inedible shells and a weird feeling in your mouth. The second problem is your own fault, but someone went and fixed the first one because they care about you and hate seeing you struggle. Pass on the gift to someone else you care about.
People these days are more interested than ever in knowing about the entire life cycle of the food they eat, from farm to table as they say. This butter churner is the perfect housewarming gift for someone who really likes to get hands-on with their food. Help transport them back to the days before capitalism had ruined the world but you had to do every damn thing yourself.
In case you haven’t noticed, Mother Nature could use some help. Old plants and leaves will eventually rot enough that you can use them as mulch, but Jesus does it take a long time, and nobody’s got all day to wait. Like they say, if you want something done right, do it yourself. An electric leaf mulcher is a great way to speed up that slow old woman’s work.
Is a party even a party before the tequila comes out? Make sure your host serves their spirits in style with this smart and sophisticated serving set. We’d take a shot on this gift being just what every housewarming party needs, and we’d quite literally take a shot off it too. With a present this perfect, can you blame us?