Who doesn’t need a little more magic in their life? Add in a dose of sugary sweet silliness and let the troubles of our earthly world just melt away. Whether you’re a believer or not, unicorns have a special way of inspiring happy thoughts dripping with toot-filled colorful rainbows and puffy cotton candy clouds. Crack open a whimsical bag of fairyland flatulence and lighten up even the dreariest of days.
This is the old people version of buying them their own pool cue. Like every game of chance, bingo is ruled by the secret and unfathomable rubric of superstition. Using a borrowed dauber is like spitting in the face of the lottery gods. Not a good idea.
Sweat lodges are dangerous … and who has money lying around for weekly spa treatments anyway? Invest in a life-changing gift that will melt away pounds, pain and tension while being surrounded by the comforts of home. Zip up, zone out and tune in to the natural healing powers of the human body. Let the excess stress and weight drip from your pores and open up the channels of wellness and good health.
Give these fortune cookies to a friend and tell them you had extra from last night's dinner. Be sure to have the camera rolling when they crack one open and see your bizarre custom message inside. Pick something that no cookie should know about them. Imagine their confusion when they read "You should break up with Mary. She should have been more careful with your Ramones t-shirt" or "Don't forget to get your car inspected. It's been overdue since July."
Perfect for lazy Sunday mornings on the bridge, these Original Show style bathrobes come in gold, blue, or red, and feature an embroidered insignia above the left breast and rank stripes on the arms. Drink coffee and explore the quadrant in these 100% cotton or microfleece ultra-casual uniforms.
Giant fish that swim in the air? Isn’t that against the very laws of nature? Yeah, kind of, we guess, but these are filled with helium and are controlled with a remote, so it’s really not as dramatic as all that. Stays inflated for up to two weeks, and can be refilled over and over again.
Welcome to the high rollers club! This hefty wad of Benjamins is the ultimate gift for the money-hungry players on your list. Talk about immediate gratification … Enclose a pair of dark aviators, a squirt of hair gel and some ’tude to match and the lucky recipient will feel like they’ve won the cash kitty. Just advise them to proceed with caution though—that counterfeit bulge in their pocket might give them a renewed sense of confidence, but any careless misstep could land them on the FBI’s most wanted poster!
This killer accessory is hardly a gag gift. The recipient of this fine headwear will be commanding respect on the racquetball court and sopping up sweat in style while weed whacking the front lawn. There’s something irresistibly strapping about mullets, and there’s no doubt they’ll reemerge as a hairdo trend if not in this decade, certainly the next. Of course, the lucky stallion that’s sporting this feathered mane has to have the proper attitude to match and that just can’t be taught, so give wisely, my friend!
If you don’t mind looking like an alien sea creature while cashing in on some well-needed Zzz’s, then you’ve hit the jackpot with this exceptional headpiece. Dozing off in public doesn’t have to involve neck-breaking episodes of whiplash and excessive dry mouth. Form-fitting and hands-free, this ingenious sleep aid offers just the right amount of ventilation and strategic padding to provide a cushioned resting place to cradle that exhausted head. Rest easy, sleepyhead, help is on the way!
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
