Bathtub Caddy Tray
Everyone used to have that one weird friend who would set up a portable swimming pool in the middle of the living room just so they could take a bath and watch TV at the same time. Now technology allows them to bring the TV to the bathtub, not the other way around, in the form of a small tablet. But electronics and water still don’t really mix that well, so you need something like this. Provides space for food, beverages, soap, aromatherapy candles, entertainment, and whatever else they might want within arm’s reach while soaking away their worries.
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This is the perfect choice for their bedside reading lamp - a light bulb that actually promotes sleep. Typical bulbs emit a specific type of blue light that suppresses melatonin, but that wavelength of color is filtered out of this bulb that is used by NASA to help astronauts sleep in space.
Zen gardens were created hundreds of years ago to promote tranquility and help with meditation. But not everyone has the space, the patience, or the design acumen to pull off a real Zen garden without making it look like a 7th grade art project. So sometimes it’s best to keep it simple (how Zen, don’t you think?). This mini white sand garden comes with rocks and fake birds that can be arranged in whatever shape the owner pleases, along with two miniature rakes and a tiny broom to create patterns in the sand. Fits right on a desktop or coffee table to provide that little dose of meditative bliss.
Everyone’s heard the phrase, “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.” Typically, this is nothing but a trick used to make the act of backstabbing easier. Luckily, technology being what it is, you almost never have to rely on anybody else anymore. This telescoping back scratcher lets even the most immobile sufferer get to that nasty itch. It’s a get well gift that helps them look out for #1.
They say laughter is the best medicine, and Netflix is crammed full of comedies to help someone in recovery get well faster. But if they would rather watch torture movies and slasher films with people getting disemboweled and whatnot, they’ve got that too. Whatever makes them feel better.
In reality this translates to, “I’m a hopeless klutz, but nobody thinks I’m important enough to throw someone else down the stairs in my place,” but that would probably take up both sides of the shirt. And part of being a good friend involves making people proud of their shortcomings. This get well gift kind of makes them feel like a badass for busting their sh*t.
Remember when you were a kid and the greatest thing you could think of was finding a cheese ball the size of the moon? Somewhere along the line, someone told you that you had to grow out of this phase. It wasn’t a phase dammit. Everyone wants bigger junk food and getting well is the perfect excuse to have some.
There are a small but important set of emergencies that can only be rectified with a clown nose. This has been demonstrated time and time again in hospitals rooms across the world. Sadly, there’s no money in clown noses, so big pharma keeps us in the dark.
Be careful sending these jars, which are hand-packed with a pair of cupcakes, as a get well soon gift, because it could be counterproductive. We’re not saying they are unhealthy, just that getting these won’t make a sick person want to heal quickly if they think there might be more cupcakes on the way.