Big Heart Keychain
Teachers have a selfless, stressful, and often thankless job. Most of the time, the only ones who get noticed are those who give bizarre, racially insensitive lectures or sleep with their students. Show a talented, dedicated teacher that you noticed them too.
Through blessed instruments flow blessed works. Everything else is mostly crap. Nobility is at the fingertips of anyone whose instrument finds its repose in these knightly hands. Your favorite teacher toils in a thankless art much of the time; show them you understand the gravity of their contribution by putting this timeless figure at their service.
Back in the good old days, a “classroom management tool” would have been nothing more than a wooden yardstick. The one the teacher used to hit kids who fell asleep, tried to wander off, or said something stupid. It seemed to work pretty well, but after a while they decided everyone should be nicer. So someone invented this idea, where teachers can keep track of kids with pieces of paper and other symbols instead of brute force. It seems to be working fine too.
Nobody’s name is as synonymous with human genius as Albert Einstein’s. But can you describe any of his scientific breakthroughs? No. You just know he had crazy hair. That’s alright, not everyone was born to be a world-class physicist. But anyone can laugh at this great piece of desk art.
This may sound like a sly ploy by the NSA to get everybody on the grid, but it’s really just a cute artistic gesture symbolizing the diverse and far-reaching influence a single person can have through dedicated effort. Stop being so paranoid.
Caricatures are great gifts because they blend the ego gratification of seeing yourself drawn in huge proportions with the subtle humiliation of having your most prominent features emphasized to the point of absurdity. What else lets you show your appreciation while obviously making fun of someone?
Teachers are famous for taking their work home with them. Give them a much needed break by getting them tickets to a concert, play, comedy show, or other event where they get to kick back and be the audience for once. After all, they’ve been dealing with your kids every day. You know what that’s like.
In the natural world, flowers are renowned for their vibrancy and visual diversity. But in the human world, green will always be the primary color. Such is convention that a handful of wadded bills may be considered insulting. Deliver them in the form of roses and everyone is happy.
Teacher’s unions are under siege across the country, and wages are the big issue. Nobody’s going to expect you to personally bail out your favorite teacher, but why not take a stab at inflating their bank account through the most culturally-accepted form of gambling? Everyone needs a little hope.