Thieves these days can break into any safe, as the movies attest to. The key is in fooling them. Storing valuables inside an innocuous-looking clock is the perfect way to foil any evil plan. When you’re this clever, you don’t even need to lock things up.
This is what Indiana Jones played with in his backyard when he got old and stopped chasing treasures in the third world. It’s just as fun, and nobody’s going to try to pull your heart out with his bare hand at the other end. Of course, you also won’t get rich, but you’ve gotta take the good with the bad.
Being earthbound can be such a drag. A Star Trek themed bathrobe can be a nightly reminder that mere humans just like us have indeed sailed among the stars, and perhaps someday we will too. Does wonders for your confidence too: once you’ve had the feeling of piloting an interstellar craft, running a household is child’s play.
Both cheaper and healthier than buying commercially-made soda, this thing is a win-win. It’s also a step up in elegance from having a pantry stuffed with cases of Mountain Dew. They can tell everyone it’s “artisan soda”, whatever that means. Their health, checking account, and reputation as connoisseurs will all thank you.
Moving into their dream house is a big occasion that deserves a big party. And what’s a big party without big cocktails? This giant shaker will keep the drinks flowing at the housewarming and will prove to be the centerpiece to a memorable night. Well, we say memorable, that all depends on how often it gets filled…and emptied…
Eggs are delicious, healthy, delicate, and frustrating all at the same time. This makes them a perfect candidate for something to hand to a machine and say, “Here, you deal with this.” And unlike housemates, the machine won’t feel used or unappreciated. It will just produce perfect eggs in one of several forms, all without protesting. Another win for technology.
Run, run as fast as you can, but you can’t escape from a Ninjabread Man. These stealthy holiday assassins will sneak, chop, and stab their way from oven to belly without making a sound. Turn any kitchen into a dojo with these hilarious novelty cookie cutters.
Many a voracious reader dreams of whiling away the time in a comfortable chair in some musty library. But what if the chair itself was the library? If they can survive this intense moment of revelation, they may have something akin to a braingasm. Which is a hell of a housewarming gift in itself.
Light the way through the dusk with these nontoxic glow in the dark pebbles. Adds a touch of the surreal to a house’s landscaping. Great for drunk homeowners who haven’t lived there long enough to tell the houses apart.