Shaking the 8-ball might suffice when you’re fifteen, but mature folks like yourselves need a soothsayer with a tad more wisdom under their belt. Mark this Valentine’s day with a bagful of prophetic goodies that will reveal some delightful predictions and quirky forecasts of your future together. Deliciously convincing, these classic fortune tellers will add a crunchy sprinkle of fun and uncertainty to the occasion!
Giving the gift of roses to your love is pretty traditional, but since roses just wilt and die shortly after they’re received, they’re really not a good symbol for ever-lasting and growing commitment. These beautifully preserved roses will never wilt and require no care or water. What better way to express your eternal adoration for the love of your life?
Celebrating with a gourmet dinner is always a solid plan, but things can get rather awkward in a crowded restaurant when the happy couple starts playing footsie and getting handsy. No need to “get a room!” if the chef comes to you, however.
Flowers are a classic gift, but they’ve got one fatal flaw: no matter how beautiful, they tend to wilt too soon. But you’re smarter than that - you like to play the long game. The Flower of the Month Club lets you automatically replenish those flowers at regular intervals so that there’s always a fresh collection in the recipient’s house. Even if you’re not a hippy, you can always employ a little “flower power” to make someone feel loved and appreciated.
You know that your romantic history is of epic significance. If only you had the hardware to prove it. Now you can immortalize your love story in the form of a big, fat, campy adventure romance novel. The world always has a gross shortage of heroes, and if somebody has to fill the void, it might as well be you. Here is your chance to fill it with style and sexiness. Enter yourself in the great pantheon of timeless erotic literature, where you’ve always known you belong.
Extend the celebration of your love for weeks, months even, with these personalized devotion vouchers. Your soul mate will revel in the chance to squeeze as much attention out of you as they possibly can—they might even try to double or triple their bounty if the rules allow for it—and you can earn extended reward points for being such a generous partner. Send your sweetheart on a shopping spree through the romance department where expiration dates never apply!
Roses are red, usually. But not chocolate roses. Pleasing to the eye and your beloved’s sweet tooth, this delectable gift may be challenging to perfect, but they’ll earn you some brownie points that will take your relationship standings off the charts. If you can pull off these confectionery delicacies, you’ll be walking the Julia Childs hall of fame for decades to come.
Just as the sun rises and sets with each passing day, so too does your heart beat continuously for the love of your life. Mark the hours, days and years that frame out the eternal bond between you and your partner with this enduring timepiece. Ponder your everlasting connection with a timeless symbol that will anchor your relationship for years to come and add meaning and soul to your outdoor space.
You’ve done so many amazing things together that you might be hard pressed for an novel idea on the next date night. Don’t panic, we’ve found the perfect solution with this gift. 52 new ideas that are sure to keep things interesting. The best part? They’ll love it so much they won’t even realize that you may have bought it with yourself in mind. We won’t tell if you won’t…
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
