Digital Art Museum
The ideal gift for the commitment-phobic 50-year-old, who in fifty years, still hasn’t managed to choose a piece of artwork they like enough to display on their wall permanently. Enter technology, to save them, by offering thousands of pieces of art in one frame. And if they don’t like any of these, they’re beyond your help.
A person who has lived over half a century is often seen as wise, a person who young people can turn to for a deeper understanding of the world. Unfortunately, not all of us know quite as much as it seems like we should, and wish we could bone up on human history a bit before we get asked about it. And that’s where this book comes in.
If you’ve used a heating blanket, you know how you’re stuck sitting or lying down, and how hard it can be to get it on the right spot. Here’s a 50th birthday gift idea that solves all that. The heat wrap covers neck and shoulders while allowing full freedom of blissful movement.
It’s hard to stay active and moving around when you’re chained to a desk with work all day, so consider giving them this Under-Desk Elliptical machine on which they can pedal away all day, working up a sweat and staring at spreadsheets. As a bonus, they’ll look like a duck treading water, with their feet pedaling frantically under the surface.
The 50th birthday is probably the last time you can get away with “over the hill” jokes. From here on in, these kinds of jokes will sound more like observations. Take advantage of your last chance to pick on the old guy by putting together a basket of embarrassing senior citizen’s products like prune juice, orthopedic shoe inserts, hemorrhoid cream, Metamucil, Depends diapers, Beano, and reading glasses.
Get out, go to a concert, see a show, watch a game. Have a great time. Nothing fancy here, just tickets to something fun. Get a pair of tickets and either go with them or send them along with the person of their choice. Even if the event isn’t happening for several months, they’ll still enjoy looking forward to going.
Is the birthday guy or gal planning some home remodeling? No need for expensive contractors - with these giant legos they can build it themselves. This gift will rekindle their childhood imagination and provide them with the pride of actually building something they use. Perhaps a lego kitchen island or coffee table would be just the thing to bring their decor together?
This doesn’t have to be awkward. Yes, you are giving someone, as a 50th birthday gift, something they will use for pooping. It’s OK. Then someday you’ll say, “Hey, you, uh, you ever use that Squatty Potty?” They’ll look horrified for a half a second, but then they’ll crack a quick smile and say, “Yeah, actually. It’s great. Thanks.” Then you never speak of it again.
Whether it’s Charlotte’s Web, Hamlet or Harry Potter, a first edition of their favorite book is sure to top the gifting charts. In the past, you’d scour bookshops, eventually stumbling across a kindly old bookseller, who’d take pity on your plight, and climb a rickety ladder, to dust off a long-lost volume... nowadays, we have the Internet.