Echo Plus with Built-in Hub
The original smart speaker and still the reigning champ of the category (in popularity at least). Alexa, the Echo’s tireless digital assistant, can do wonders for you: make your grocery list, play your favorite music on Spotify, or order more cashmere socks after a long night of mooning the paparazzi. Connect it to a fully functional hub and you can control your vast smart device kingdom with the sound of your voice.
This is the smart TV for the price-conscious shopper who appreciates simplicity. With Roku’s streaming capabilities built in, you have instant access to all of your favorite online content. And it’s small enough to fit in the tiniest of dorms, so a college student you know can finally become the greasy-haired troll they always wanted to be, all without sacrificing entertainment.
Everyone knows that if you leave your lawn health up to the weather, you might as well just light it on fire. I mean, you might as well invite a herd of bison to graze unfettered. I mean really. So you bought a sprinkler system, but the stupid thing will turn on in the middle of a monsoon. A smart sprinkler controller will fix that so you can have a decent lawn for once.
The Roku Streaming Stick may be the Roku Ultra’s little brother, but it definitely punches above its weight. It features all the same channels, a voice activated remote, and a sleek design that remains hidden out of sight so no one has to look at your dongle while they watch TV.
What day does the milk expire? Who the hell knows the answer to a question like that off the top of their head? Actually, your refrigerator does, if you’ve got one of these. Interior cameras allow you to monitor food levels from your phone, and you can receive instant messages when the door is left open so you know which kid to beat. Just kidding. Don’t do that.
No matter what garbage you watch, even if it’s the trashiest of reality TV, this screen is going to make it magnificent. Like gazing up at the Sistine Chapel on mushrooms. If you’re looking for a smart TV to make the neighbors hate you (except when you invite them over for the Super Bowl), look no further. This one is going to blow a hole right through your head.
The Ring Video Doorbell is an invaluable tool for anyone looking to avoid unnecessary human contact. Because whether it’s a door-to-door salesman, that weird kleptomaniac kid from next door, or your Mother-in-Law, answering the front door in person can lead to all kinds of awkward encounters and sometimes even property damage. This is the electronic doorman you’ve always dreamed of.
Lawn work is a thankless chore. Here is an expert mower that will never demand recognition, appreciation, or financial compensation. Just goes about its business with a level of dedication and consistency that are hard to find in the modern world. A real throwback.
All the same colors and shades of white as the Philips Hue, but without the need for a hub. With a few of these bulbs, you can put that old swingers pad you had in the ‘70s to shame. But really, you should probably leave those days behind you. On second thought, no. Time to get it on.