Einstein Magnetic Paper Clip Holder
Nobody’s name is as synonymous with human genius as Albert Einstein’s. But can you describe any of his scientific breakthroughs? No. You just know he had crazy hair. That’s alright, not everyone was born to be a world-class physicist. But anyone can laugh at this great piece of desk art.
Teacher’s unions are under siege across the country, and wages are the big issue. Nobody’s going to expect you to personally bail out your favorite teacher, but why not take a stab at inflating their bank account through the most culturally-accepted form of gambling? Everyone needs a little hope.
Otto’s just about guaranteed to be the cutest thing on any desk he happens to land on. He’s also got some serious core strength to maintain that half-situp position all day. Add some personality and warmth to your favorite teacher’s everyday surroundings.
Through blessed instruments flow blessed works. Everything else is mostly crap. Nobility is at the fingertips of anyone whose instrument finds its repose in these knightly hands. Your favorite teacher toils in a thankless art much of the time; show them you understand the gravity of their contribution by putting this timeless figure at their service.
Caricatures are great gifts because they blend the ego gratification of seeing yourself drawn in huge proportions with the subtle humiliation of having your most prominent features emphasized to the point of absurdity. What else lets you show your appreciation while obviously making fun of someone?
You can tell someone something important once, but let’s be real: people lead busy lives. They’re going to go home and find that they’re dog crapped on the carpet, and they’ll forget what you said forever. Put it into a piece of art, on the other hand, and they’ll think of it every time they walk by.
Back in the good old days, a “classroom management tool” would have been nothing more than a wooden yardstick. The one the teacher used to hit kids who fell asleep, tried to wander off, or said something stupid. It seemed to work pretty well, but after a while they decided everyone should be nicer. So someone invented this idea, where teachers can keep track of kids with pieces of paper and other symbols instead of brute force. It seems to be working fine too.
This may sound like a sly ploy by the NSA to get everybody on the grid, but it’s really just a cute artistic gesture symbolizing the diverse and far-reaching influence a single person can have through dedicated effort. Stop being so paranoid.
It’s no secret that teaching is about the future, about helping kids become the best version of themselves. But sometimes it’s nice to step into the past too. Give them something to remind them of the time they spent molding these innocent young minds like so much human clay.