In the natural world, flowers are renowned for their vibrancy and visual diversity. But in the human world, green will always be the primary color. Such is convention that a handful of wadded bills may be considered insulting. Deliver them in the form of roses and everyone is happy.
It’s no secret that teaching is about the future, about helping kids become the best version of themselves. But sometimes it’s nice to step into the past too. Give them something to remind them of the time they spent molding these innocent young minds like so much human clay.
Otto’s just about guaranteed to be the cutest thing on any desk he happens to land on. He’s also got some serious core strength to maintain that half-situp position all day. Add some personality and warmth to your favorite teacher’s everyday surroundings.
Teachers are famous for taking their work home with them. Give them a much needed break by getting them tickets to a concert, play, comedy show, or other event where they get to kick back and be the audience for once. After all, they’ve been dealing with your kids every day. You know what that’s like.
This could read as “be careful with my child.” But anyone who has ever observed a roomful of kids knows that it’s only a matter of time before the most insane and absurd accident imaginable actually happens. That’s why it’s nice to have the tools to put people back together quickly.
This may sound like a sly ploy by the NSA to get everybody on the grid, but it’s really just a cute artistic gesture symbolizing the diverse and far-reaching influence a single person can have through dedicated effort. Stop being so paranoid.
Teacher’s unions are under siege across the country, and wages are the big issue. Nobody’s going to expect you to personally bail out your favorite teacher, but why not take a stab at inflating their bank account through the most culturally-accepted form of gambling? Everyone needs a little hope.
Teachers may only work nine months a year, but they sure are busy while they’re at it. Just ask one sometime. The best thing you can do to keep them from going insane and taking it out on your kids is to volunteer your time and energy in some way that makes their life easier. Chaperone a field trip, offer to help grade papers — offer yourself up in any way that sounds legal and ethical. After all, just because you’re too old to be a student doesn’t mean you can’t still earn points as a brown-noser.
Nobody’s name is as synonymous with human genius as Albert Einstein’s. But can you describe any of his scientific breakthroughs? No. You just know he had crazy hair. That’s alright, not everyone was born to be a world-class physicist. But anyone can laugh at this great piece of desk art.
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
