Electric Food Dehydrator
Much like with the mummies of old Egypt, dehydrating food is a very handy way to make it last longer. But you have to do it just right — simply leaving fruit, vegetables, and meat out on the kitchen table is not the answer (as so many people have found out the hard way). Thankfully, the inventors of the electric food dehydrator have done all the learning and thinking for the rest of us, so now all we have to do is load it up and turn a dial. Mmm, beef jerky.
Offering to vacuum your friend’s house every day would be an insane (and insanely good) housewarming present that nobody would ever give. And yet, if you think about it, that’s exactly what giving them a robot vacuum amounts to. Give the gift of clean floors every day with this amazing invention.
Pepper is an in-your-face spice, and its essence has nothing to do with subtlety. Here is the perfect vessel for the preeminent seasoning at the table. Let this beautifully crafted ebony grinder tower over the other lowly flavors, including its eternal rival, salt. Any other symbolism we’ll leave up to your imagination.
Spherical food is classy. And now you can turn just about any food into little caviar-like pearls by blending it with water and adding a gelification agent to the mix. Then place it inside this pepper grinder-looking thing and in a few minutes you’ll be shooting out little balls of food. And when you place little balls of food on other non-ball shaped food, everything looks a thousand times fancier, and fancy looking food always tastes better.
Jesus turned water to wine, and everyone had a great time. But if you’re looking for a more useful trick, one that could really save your rear in the case of some kind of catastrophe, the AquaBoy provides you with a more utilitarian option - making air into water. Produces up to 2-5 gallons of water a day, just like magic, so the user can get through the next drought, natural disaster, or boil alert without breaking a sweat.
We all like to think we’re larger than life, but in truth we’re really just branches on the grand tree of our ancestry. Screw that, most of us are just leaves at best. Some of us are maybe just a little speck of caterpillar vomit on one of those leaves (you know who you are). Your family tree doesn’t have to be that detailed though.
Quadruple size your triple word score with this enormous Scrabble board. Your wordiest, nerdiest friend will love letting passing strangers see them crush all opposition through their front windows as they walk by on the sidewalk in front of their new home.
One day soon, artificial intelligence is going to be a reality, and the machines are going to take everything. Until then, you might as well get as much out of these bastards as you can. Here’s a robot who will make fully-customizable drinks until he knows better.
Stress reduction is damn near the holy grail of happiness and health. But let’s face it — the world seems hellbent on keeping everyone’s cortisol at a solid 9 out of 10 just about every waking moment. And with the constant barrage of advertising, social media alerts, emails, text messages, work-related fire drills, “Mom/Dad I’m hungry,” actual fire drills, natural disasters, news stories about nuclear missiles and global warming, inconsiderate/psychotic neighbors…All we’re saying is, everyone needs an impenetrable fortress of calm to retreat to every once in a while.