Everything You Need to Know to Get By in the 21st Century
The 21st Century can be an overwhelming place – space exploration, nuclear weapons, Justin Bieber… The Knowledge Book distills thousands of years of humankind’s most significant ideas and achievements— explains how they are linked and why they are important—and packs everything into a single, irresistibly readable volume.
Studies show that short naps can significantly improve mental performance. Here is their very own plush, portable head enclosure, so no matter where they are, they can take a nap so peaceful they’ll be angry that they woke up. Angry and smart as hell.
Polaroids may be dead, but the people who like to use them aren’t. Not all of them anyway. There’s something especially gratifying about holding a tangible photograph, especially in a world dominated by virtual commodities where everything is becoming digital. Having an instant printer on hand means they don’t have to wait for a photo printing company to print their photos from the cloud and mail them by horseback or whatever. And we all know that nobody has time to wait for a horse these days. Oh, and we should also mention: these look way better than Polaroids.
Look, we know that not everybody needs to have a giant five pound gummy bear, but not everybody technically needs pants, either. Having a giant gummy bear is like having a pair of pants: once you have one, it is hard to imagine life without it. The point is that need has nothing to do with it.
Drinking coffee is for amateurs: give the gift of intense doses of caffeine. Help them run marathons, finish difficult projects, and—if they eat too many—question if their eye is supposed to be twitching. As a gift to you, if you ever need to paint your house, get them on board – they can see way more colors than you can now.
Some people need visual feedback in order to understand their progress. With these right and left brain bookends, they can literally watch as their mind expands with each book added to the shelf. Of course, they still have to read them to absorb the knowledge. Let’s hope you don’t have to explain that.
The ultimate guide to what they should have learned already, with a title that communicates what you can’t bring yourself to say out loud. The world may be a nicer place than the one you grew up in, but it still can’t help punishing dumbasses. Help them get it together.
Going to college means getting up and motivated for early morning classes, often after a late night of doing what college is really about - homework, right? It’s easy for students to forget to set an alarm, or to select PM instead of AM before passing out, from all that learning. A smart alarm clock can be programmed ahead of time to match their class schedule. On Monday it knows to go off at 7 in the morning, but on Tuesday it lets them sleep it off till 10.
Their toothbrush cleans their mouth, but then what cleans their toothbrush? How have you not been thinking about this? If you don’t have one of these, your mouth and your toothbrush are just playing volleyball with all that crap that comes off your teeth. Life is gross enough without walking around with a bacteria factory in your face.