F Bomb Paperweight
Sometimes life at work is so f-ed up that you don’t even have enough time to list all your f-ing grievances. If you have a coworker who is so deep in the $h!7 that all they do is drop f-ing f-bombs all day, take some of the stress off their poor overworked f-ing tongue with this clever and handsome expletive sculpture. It works beautifully as a paperweight, but it’s also heavy enough to get attention every time they drop it.
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Hear ye, Hear ye! Guess who just got promoted…to King Arthur’s Knighted Workers of the Round Table! With Excalibur by their side, they’ll rule the office, command respect at staff meetings and restore order to their cubicle. This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to grasp greatness. Will they accept the challenge?
Nothing is more important to company productivity than morale. And nothing raises morale better than acknowledging the real triumphs and heroics that make up the everyday life of an indentured office servant. There are no dragons to slay in the corporate world. The real battles are fought in small, desperate spaces like the sterile, suffocating environs of the meeting room. These things should not go unsaid.
Name one coworker who wouldn’t love this (except Phil, he had a bad fish experience and doesn’t want to talk about it). Literal living art and – bonus – zero maintenance required. This self-contained aquatic ecosystem dumps the downsides to bring only the positives of an aquarium to the table.
Everyone loves a gift that keeps on giving. Not only is this treasure trove a conversation starter, it’s perfect for re-gifting! Pass it around the office for all those special occasions and pay the rewards forward. The luck never runs out on this winner. Everyone needs a diversion at work and maybe, just maybe today’s your lucky day!
For the ultimate clock watcher, this stylish desk accessory is a fantastic way for your co-worker to count down the minutes left at work, hours left in the day, days left in the year, and years left before the sweet release of retirement, and that new life in the Bahamas.Or days spent pottering around the local garden center and shouting indignantly at daytime television.
Are you changing jobs soon and want to leave behind a legacy of disorder and cascading revenge? Give this book to the person at the office you hate least and let them unleash a reign of terror and annoyance. A perfect bridge burner.
Say goodbye to the desk covered in post-it notes, the misplaced notebook, and the back-pocket flash drive. Say hello to less is more. Embrace the future with this one-of-a-kind scribe. Translate your precious thoughts and to-do lists into tangible deliverables and never look back!
Most importantly, note that this is a dual-slot machine. Anybody who’s not wholly and purely evil would love the gift of fresh, on-demand ice cream at their desk, but here’s a ProTip: save this one for someone whose office isn’t too far away from yours. Just saying.