Follow Me Bring Beer Sandals
If they’re feeling a bit hot under the collar at the thought of being over the hill, it often helps to crack open a cold one to take their mind off it. Thanks to this incredibly thoughtful gift, they’ll never be too far away from some ice-cold refreshment…just make sure you’re not walking behind them, expectations will be high.
Prepare them for the coldness of the tomb while soothing their aches and pains with a cryotherapy session. In socks and underwear, they will enter a chamber where their whole body (head not included) is bathed in frigid nitrogen vapor for up the three minutes or so. The quick chill is meant to promote natural healing throughout the body.
A normal magic wand makes things disappear. This one makes them appear on your doorstep, though it takes a couple of days. That’s how magic works in the digital age: it’s a little slower, but it gets you stuff you actually want. The old magic just got you a rabbit or something and left you confused. They’ll like this a lot more.
Just give it to them. Don’t make a big deal about it, or give them diet books or a lecture or anything like that. They know. They have figured out for themselves that their body is not quite the well-tuned machine that it once was. Just give the Fitbit, and leave the rest to them.
If they’re turning 40, they’ll have spent enough time in supermarkets to last a lifetime. Buy them a Costco membership and not only will you save them money, you’ll also be saving them time so they can start doing other exciting old people things instead, like gardening and bridge club. In fact, you might get really lucky with a jumbo pack of toilet roll as a thank you.
By their 40th birthday, a person has probably had the chance to go a few places, and has definitely had the chance to think of a few places they’d like to go. This personalized travel map comes with colored pins to mark those them all on an attractive US or world map.
If you think that intoxicating substances and baseball don’t mix, consider that Doc Ellis once pitched a no-hitter while tripping on acid, and old time icons like Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth, and Harry Caray were pretty much drunk all the time. This unique and meticulously crafted centerpiece is more proof of the divine intersection between the national pastime and…the other national pastime.
Nothing creates a sense of urgency like counting the seconds until the time when you can’t count the seconds anymore. The surest way to beat procrastination, this watch doesn’t let you off the hook. Strap it on someone’s wrist, give them a hearty slap on the rear, and tell them to get to work.
This ingenious shirt tricks kids into giving back massages to their parents. It has a cartoon network of roads printed on the back so kids playing with a toy car driving around the town will secretly be loosening tight muscles and soothing back pain while they play. It’s brilliant!