With any normal chocolate bar, even the generously-sized original Toblerone, one’s enjoyment is always tarnished by the sad thought that the experience will soon be over. Candy bars simply don’t last long enough. In contrast, candy lovers look upon this giant Toblerone bar the same way that a mountaineer gazes up at a lofty peak. In their mind, they understand that one day the expedition will be over, and the mammoth before them will have been conquered. Yet in the moment they can’t quite believe it.
Think of what the coolest cooler would be like. It would keep drinks cold, obviously, but it would also do other stuff too, right? Like play music on a splash-proof Bluetooth speaker, have a built-in blender that can crush ice, and even be able to charge your phone. That’s why this cooler is called the Coolest, and it is just that.
If you’re going to do something, do it the right way. That goes for buying a knife too. The last thing you want is to be in a life and death situation and have to say, “If only I had a fine-toothed miniature saw and I knew what time it was.” This pocket knife has you covered on both fronts. The only way we could imagine this knife being more loaded is if they added a miniature cannon or gave it time travel capabilities. The perfect gift for the survivalist who likes that extra layer of security against that “what-ifs”.
Can’t find good help these days? A fiercely steadfast servant can be found in this brilliant barkeep. Always on hand to provide drinks to a round, rectangular or any other shaped table, Sir Galahad is a trusty addition to any home and even comes with the guarantee of never phoning in sick.
With professional quality drones now becoming affordable, the average schlub can make cinema-quality videos for the first time in history. Those epic sky shots that used to be exclusively available to Hollywood-level film crews are attainable for anybody. All it takes is a simple drone copter like this one armed with a professional quality video camera. And this thing brings all kinds of mischief within the user’s reach, even the kind that might land them on the news. What more inspiration could a bored tech nerd need?
Whether they’re looking to finally get off the grid for real, have a nice power-outage backup plan to increase their peace of mind, or just show off how damn futuristic they are, the Tesla Powerwall is one of the foremost technologies in modern electric power. The idea is so obvious that it’s kind of amazing we haven’t had these for decades. Paired with solar panels, the Powerwall can power an entire house on most days, and as a standalone item it provides great insurance against temporary outages due to severe weather and other natural and manmade mischief.
We can’t emphasize this enough: you ride the motorized cooler full of drinks to the party, you drink its contents, and then you WALK it back home. Nobody wants to be the guy on the news who got arrested for drunk driving an empty cooler. So stay safe.
Everyone, from Elon Musk to your next door neighbor, is straight-up terrified of the robot takeover, envisioning all kinds of post-apocalyptic horrors being visited upon us by our own creations. But then one of them offers to mow the lawn and everyone’s like, “Well, they can’t be that bad.” And it’s true - there might be a few bad apples coming down the assembly line, but you won’t find any in the lawn mower category. Just helpful, friendly, sort-of-intelligent mini landscapers who just want you to give them a place to lay low and recharge in between jobs. Nothing to be scared of here.
Sure, it will be strange when you have to get that cheek swab from them without them knowing what you’re up to, but it will all make sense when you reveal this custom portrait that showcases their unique DNA. Or you could just give them the DNA collection kit as the gift if that’s easier. Or just swab your dog. They’ll never know the difference.