3D Food Printer
Ever since the introduction of the first 3d printer, the prevailing question on the minds of many has been, “I wonder if I could eat that.” The answer, as some found out the hard way, is almost always no. Now that’s all changing, as the technology has evolved to be edible, as all important technology eventually does. Because really, if you can’t ingest something, what’s the point of having it? After all, isn’t that why they call it “consumer technology?” Makes perfect sense to us.
For many thousands of years, “grilling” has meant chopping something up and suspending it over an open flame. Sure, maybe you add some new proprietary seasoning to spice things up a little and impress your in-laws, but for the most part nothing’s really changed. It’s time to disrupt (that’s what the B school kids call it) this primal practice with a little infrared technology. Call this grilling 2.0. Life has sped up immeasurably since the days when we were chasing down goats and killing them with our bare hands. We’ve got jobs now, and Netflix shows to watch. This crazy little box will get the grilling done in no time so they can get back to real life.
Grilling out is about to get a makeover. No more lugging around a bag of charcoal or pressurized cans of flammable liquid. That’s stone age crap. It’s time to start harnessing geometry and the primal power of the solar system to help make dinner. The parabolic reflective surface condenses the sun’s rays on the cooking vessel, letting them grill, steam, slow-cook, or pan fry their favorite dishes under the clear blue sky, and all with a minimal level of human input. Sometimes simpler really is better.
Speed is dangerous, but some kinds are more dangerous than others. This one is mostly just fun. But be careful: once they’ve experienced the feeling of flying around the track, the engine roaring like a wild beast, the smell of smoldering rubber in the air, they may never quite be the same.
Whether they’re looking to finally get off the grid for real, have a nice power-outage backup plan to increase their peace of mind, or just show off how damn futuristic they are, the Tesla Powerwall is one of the foremost technologies in modern electric power. The idea is so obvious that it’s kind of amazing we haven’t had these for decades. Paired with solar panels, the Powerwall can power an entire house on most days, and as a standalone item it provides great insurance against temporary outages due to severe weather and other natural and manmade mischief.
With any normal chocolate bar, even the generously-sized original Toblerone, one’s enjoyment is always tarnished by the sad thought that the experience will soon be over. Candy bars simply don’t last long enough. In contrast, candy lovers look upon this giant Toblerone bar the same way that a mountaineer gazes up at a lofty peak. In their mind, they understand that one day the expedition will be over, and the mammoth before them will have been conquered. Yet in the moment they can’t quite believe it.
With professional quality drones now becoming affordable, the average schlub can make cinema-quality videos for the first time in history. Those epic sky shots that used to be exclusively available to Hollywood-level film crews are attainable for anybody. All it takes is a simple drone copter like this one armed with a professional quality video camera. And this thing brings all kinds of mischief within the user’s reach, even the kind that might land them on the news. What more inspiration could a bored tech nerd need?
The Bose Soundtouch gives you dramatic, room-filling sound in a slim, compact design. Mount on the wall right underneath your TV for a speaker that gives you the illusion of side surround sound without the need for extra speakers. The perfect way to really bring a home theater to life.
Sure, we lived for hundreds of thousands of years without electricity, but that’s not the point. The next time they’re in the middle of baking a casserole and a squirrel falls in the wires at the power plant, don’t make them resort to eating lettuce and raw cookie dough for dinner.