Gift Card For Any Hotel
A starving brain is not a productive brain. But left to their own devices, most people will shovel literal garbage into their mouths just to quell the rumbling in their guts. And like they say, garbage in, garbage out. So then you have a team full of company reps vomiting garbage on your clients in the form of subpar work. It’s time to end the nonsense already, and the way you do that is to go straight to the source. The source is their mouths. Fill them with something good.
Nothing interrupts productivity like the intrusion of inane chatter, construction noise, fire alarms, and other nuisances. And try as you might to erase it from existence, every office has its fair share of explosive interpersonal drama. The only solution is to give your most dedicated employees the means to physically block it out, and let all the other unhinged maniacs eat each other alive. Hey, it’s your fault for hiring them. That makes it your job to shelter the innocent.
Like happiness, most peoples’ wealth is intangible. It’s just a number that represents a theoretical claim on a few bars of metal locked in a vault somewhere that probably don’t exist anyway. So what’s better than happiness and fake money? Gold! And nothing but gold! But you’re way too sophisticated to give your employees a shapeless ball of ore. Gold coins allow you to hand over timeless wealth in a package that’s fit to be displayed. Just like a king of yore.
When your employees say in their interviews that they’re looking for a workplace with a great “culture”, this is what they mean. Team building activities, group outings, honest communication, integrity, and a sense that they’re making a difference in the world are great, but those are all forms of beating around the bush. And that bush is beer. Because anyone who feeds them free beer earns their trust and respect. Anyone who feeds them free beer while paying them earns their eternal loyalty and the keys to their soul. Talk about a return on investment.
This must be a dream. Barefoot … in a hammock … at work. Does it get any cooler than this? Who says relaxation and hard work can’t go hand in hand? Digital nomads shouldn’t be the only ones having all the fun. Chances are your employees will get a lot more done with this handsome sling below their desks. Improve circulation from the tips of the toes to the synapses of the brain and reap the rewards of a stress-less work ethic.
Don’t bother trying to figure out what your employees really want to do in their spare time. The tickets to Marylin Manson’s reunion tour that you gave away at Christmas last year? Those went straight to StubHub. Making a misstep with event tickets makes your entire team wonder if you know them at all. One Nickleback ticket can undo a whole year of culture building. You’re a firm believer in delegating responsibility to lower level managers. It’s time you let them have control over their personal lives as well.
How do you know you’ve really made it? When you’ve finally put your stamp on the food supply — literally. The shrewd business moves of your company’s executives have nourished your employees in many ways, filling their lives with meaning and putting food on the table for their families. But nothing is as satisfying as seeing the workers you command physically assimilating your corporate logo. It’s like watching the circle finally be completed, right before your eyes.
Online publishing means you no longer have to go through some stuffy, crotchety editor at Ye Olde Publishing House just to get your damn name on a book. Even as the world transitions more and more toward digital information, there is a certain undeniable charm and a tangible sense of authority when you’ve got a real-life, hold-it-in-your-hands printed book. Especially when it looks as snazzy as these. Ideas are ideas in any form, but a real book still makes a special kind of statement.