If m&ms were a person, you would have choked the crap out of them by now because all they do is say the same thing over and over again. Thankfully, we now live in the infinitely customizable iCulture, where you don’t have to put up with that kind of nonsense anymore. Say everything you ever wanted to say, in the sweetest way possible.
The necktie is the unsung, often mistreated hero of the sartorial world. While shirts, pants, and jackets all get their own specialized travel bags to keep them clean, dry, and unwrinkled, neckties just get folded up and stuffed in the suitcase. But there is a price to be paid for this kind of disregard — and that price is a cranky, crinkly, abused-looking necktie that makes even the most dapper man look like he has been reduced to a stowaway sleeping in his work clothes in the undercarriage of a Greyhound bus. The necktie travel case is here to rescue that man’s dignity.
Lobsters have many, many great qualities, not least among them are their nutritional and flavor profiles. But they’re dumb as dirt, exceptionally slow, and don’t drive. So if it’s inconvenient for your boss to go all the way to the ocean to find the best lobsters, you’re going to have to get creative. Thankfully, lobster mail is now a reality.
Inside every high achiever is a bored, distracted child just waiting to pop out like a jack-in-the-box as soon as it sees an opportunity. One of the hidden benefits of the corner office is the privacy that allows the occupier of that office to play with whatever they want while the door is closed. A golden slinky carries the right amount of gravitas for a man or woman of power, and it’s far from the most embarrassing thing they could be caught playing with if someone opens the door unexpectedly.
There’s no better way to spend your last few minutes before bedtime than reading about someone who’s smarter, more successful, and far more innovative than yourself. Inspiration, they call it. Give your boss the gift of understanding what they don’t understand.
Give your boss an excuse for his all-too-noticeable whiskey breath, and you might just save both of your jobs. Then maybe next Christmas you can provide a useful excuse for his erratic behavior, and he’ll love you like his own child. Never forget, there’s a beautiful solution to every problem.
For the distinguished gentleman who enjoys the finer things, but also eats a poppy seed bagel every morning and always has some stuck in his teeth, there are scotch infused toothpicks. The added flavor and kick of scotch will encourage use, which is something that everyone can smile about.
If your boss is the type that rides in the economy class like the rest of us, an airplane cocktail or two can help make the experience much more tolerable. Let them kick back with an Old fashioned or Moscow Mule and the stress will melt away, kind of.