I Do My Own Stunts Shirts
In reality this translates to, “I’m a hopeless klutz, but nobody thinks I’m important enough to throw someone else down the stairs in my place,” but that would probably take up both sides of the shirt. And part of being a good friend involves making people proud of their shortcomings. This get well gift kind of makes them feel like a badass for busting their sh*t.
Nobody wants to touch your feet, so stop asking. And we know you don’t want to touch anybody else’s either, so if you want someone’s feet to feel better this is the only ethical choice. And with switchable heat and nonstop movement, this is way better than any human could do anyway. All without the complaining or the feeling of obligation to reciprocate in some way.
Good vibes are the secret medicine of the Universe. Anyone who is ailing needs as much of it as they can get, and here is a whole month’s dose in the form of 31 individually-wrapped miniature notes full of caring and encouragement. Show someone you care about that no matter what they’re recovering from, they’re not in it alone. This is the kind of medicine that goes down easy, with only one side effect - happiness. Choose from ready-made sets with messages already included, blank cards that you can fill in yourself, or Kindnotes will custom print your personalized set and jar.
Be careful sending these jars, which are hand-packed with a pair of cupcakes, as a get well soon gift, because it could be counterproductive. We’re not saying they are unhealthy, just that getting these won’t make a sick person want to heal quickly if they think there might be more cupcakes on the way.
Everyone’s heard the phrase, “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.” Typically, this is nothing but a trick used to make the act of backstabbing easier. Luckily, technology being what it is, you almost never have to rely on anybody else anymore. This telescoping back scratcher lets even the most immobile sufferer get to that nasty itch. It’s a get well gift that helps them look out for #1.
Bonsai is the ancient art of cultivating miniature versions of shrubbery or trees through careful maintenance. Bonsai are sometimes grown for hundreds of years, shaped by different owners over multiple generations. But don’t be intimidated, nobody’s asking your gift recipient to make that kind of commitment. Many people consider growing a bonsai tree to be a highly meditative and spiritual process, and other people just think they look really cool. If you know someone with a green thumb who’s going to be stuck around the house for a while, this could be a great companion.
They say laughter is the best medicine, and Netflix is crammed full of comedies to help someone in recovery get well faster. But if they would rather watch torture movies and slasher films with people getting disemboweled and whatnot, they’ve got that too. Whatever makes them feel better.
It’s nice to have the option to get an endless massage from somebody whose hands never get tired. And you don’t have to worry about being a captive audience to some godawful boring story or suffer through ten minutes of vomit-inducing garlic breath. Machines do it better.
There are a small but important set of emergencies that can only be rectified with a clown nose. This has been demonstrated time and time again in hospitals rooms across the world. Sadly, there’s no money in clown noses, so big pharma keeps us in the dark.