It’s nice to have the option to get an endless massage from somebody whose hands never get tired. And you don’t have to worry about being a captive audience to some godawful boring story or suffer through ten minutes of vomit-inducing garlic breath. Machines do it better.
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When you’re convalescing, you get all kinds of ideas, because you have nothing but time to reflect. First comes a recognition of all the ways you’re being conspired against by family and government entities. Then you finally realize that the animals know more than they’re letting on. You see where this is going. Give them a puzzle book before they do something stupid.
Be careful sending these jars, which are hand-packed with a pair of cupcakes, as a get well soon gift, because it could be counterproductive. We’re not saying they are unhealthy, just that getting these won’t make a sick person want to heal quickly if they think there might be more cupcakes on the way.
When someone is recovering from an illness, getting them a bunch of greasy Chinese food is probably not the best idea. But, while they might not be up for eating some General Tso’s chicken, a fancy custom fortune cookie with an inspiring message might be just the thing.
Zen gardens were created hundreds of years ago to promote tranquility and help with meditation. But not everyone has the space, the patience, or the design acumen to pull off a real Zen garden without making it look like a 7th grade art project. So sometimes it’s best to keep it simple (how Zen, don’t you think?). This mini white sand garden comes with rocks and fake birds that can be arranged in whatever shape the owner pleases, along with two miniature rakes and a tiny broom to create patterns in the sand. Fits right on a desktop or coffee table to provide that little dose of meditative bliss.
In reality this translates to, “I’m a hopeless klutz, but nobody thinks I’m important enough to throw someone else down the stairs in my place,” but that would probably take up both sides of the shirt. And part of being a good friend involves making people proud of their shortcomings. This get well gift kind of makes them feel like a badass for busting their sh*t.
Bonsai is the ancient art of cultivating miniature versions of shrubbery or trees through careful maintenance. Bonsai are sometimes grown for hundreds of years, shaped by different owners over multiple generations. But don’t be intimidated, nobody’s asking your gift recipient to make that kind of commitment. Many people consider growing a bonsai tree to be a highly meditative and spiritual process, and other people just think they look really cool. If you know someone with a green thumb who’s going to be stuck around the house for a while, this could be a great companion.
The cool thing about giving an Edible Arrangement as a get well soon gift is that even if they are not feeling up to eating much, it is happy to just sit there looking pretty. It’s like giving flowers that visiting well wishers can snack on. And it’s even healthy to boot!
What if you could only make happy mistakes? That’s kind of what this book is about. A great way to get lost in the practice of creating something in the present, Zentangles allow the user to fill in segments of a picture with whatever pattern they choose. What emerges is a unified creation unlike anything they could have imagined.
There are few things that will enrage a high-level cook more than preparing all of the ingredients for a 5-star meal, only to find that the cilantro, parsley, or basil has degraded into a brown, slimy mess. More than a few unsolved murders have likely resulted. And what’s worse, some of that rotten herbage probably gets tossed into the recipe anyway, and some of that food probably gets served to you. Are you starting to see why you should buy one of these for your friends and family?
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
One of the biggest problems with being in public is there are so many things you’re either required or tempted to touch. Door handles, ATM touchscreens, animals, garbage…the list is practically endless. And it’s all contaminated with a never-ending litany of biological hazards and impurities. Germs, chemicals, and various bodily fluids are liberally smeared upon all the surfaces of our civilization. This keychain multitool is the gift from the gods of hygiene we’ve all been waiting for.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
