Impending Doom Bookends
With the gift of consciousness comes the burden of consciousness. Knowledge is heavy, and many a man has succumbed under its implacable weight. Celebrate the wonderful danger of ideas with this poor terrified effigy of a man on the verge of seeing his brief, harried existence crushed like an ant under the lumbering foot of human thought.
There has been a big trend toward natural shapes and materials in home furnishings as we realize that a lot of the stuff we’ve tried to make ourselves is just unsightly. These versatile honeycomb-inspired shelves are the bee’s knees and provide an appropriate frame to show off all that awesome junk they’ve got laying around the house.
Life is often times very frustrating. It’s easy to eat a thousand pistachios a minute, but you end up with a mountain of inedible shells and a weird feeling in your mouth. The second problem is your own fault, but someone went and fixed the first one because they care about you and hate seeing you struggle. Pass on the gift to someone else you care about.
Eggs are delicious, healthy, delicate, and frustrating all at the same time. This makes them a perfect candidate for something to hand to a machine and say, “Here, you deal with this.” And unlike housemates, the machine won’t feel used or unappreciated. It will just produce perfect eggs in one of several forms, all without protesting. Another win for technology.
Despite what you might think, not all communication in the 21st century is digital. There is a midway point between old time mouth-based talking and facebook, where people still communicate in a low tech environment. You just have to make a game out of it, or no one will bother. Let wall scrabble be the glue that holds the thin shards of someone’s family life together.
This gift will let the housewarming host blow away their guests when someone calls for shots. What better way is there to serve them than in actual shots? Choose your poison, line ‘em up, knock ‘em back and get the party started. They’re a clever piece of equipment for the bar and are sure to be a conversation starter for many gatherings to come.
In the world of minor annoyances that slowly wear you down, wet hand and footwear are right up there with highway noise and wet toilet paper. Thankfully, there’s no more need to wait two days for dry boots or gloves. Just pop them on this handy little machine, turn the heat up, wait an hour or two, and it’s go time.
Many a voracious reader dreams of whiling away the time in a comfortable chair in some musty library. But what if the chair itself was the library? If they can survive this intense moment of revelation, they may have something akin to a braingasm. Which is a hell of a housewarming gift in itself.
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.