Impending Doom Bookends
With the gift of consciousness comes the burden of consciousness. Knowledge is heavy, and many a man has succumbed under its implacable weight. Celebrate the wonderful danger of ideas with this poor terrified effigy of a man on the verge of seeing his brief, harried existence crushed like an ant under the lumbering foot of human thought.
Cotton candy brings back delicious memories of festivals, carnivals, and other favorite childhood events. But what about someone who lives in a crap town that even carnivals won’t visit, or is scared of clowns or strangers? Despite what your parents may have told you, cotton candy isn’t magic. It can be made right at home with a handy little machine like this.
Light the way through the dusk with these nontoxic glow in the dark pebbles. Adds a touch of the surreal to a house’s landscaping. Great for drunk homeowners who haven’t lived there long enough to tell the houses apart.
This gift will let the housewarming host blow away their guests when someone calls for shots. What better way is there to serve them than in actual shots? Choose your poison, line ‘em up, knock ‘em back and get the party started. They’re a clever piece of equipment for the bar and are sure to be a conversation starter for many gatherings to come.
Everyone naturally worries about the comfort of their guests, while the condiment bottles sit forlornly, wherever somebody tossed them, neglected and slathered in their own sticky residue. Thankfully, you realize that ketchup has needs too. That’s why you’ll buy this condiment picnic table for a less thoughtful person in your life.
There has been a big trend toward natural shapes and materials in home furnishings as we realize that a lot of the stuff we’ve tried to make ourselves is just unsightly. These versatile honeycomb-inspired shelves are the bee’s knees and provide an appropriate frame to show off all that awesome junk they’ve got laying around the house.
The outdoors have their own set of unique charms, but they could use some help in the tunes department. Life today is ultra-portable, and music should be too, but sometimes - like when you’re chilling with friends - headphones are just weird. Help them bring the party outside so everyone can get down.
In case you haven’t noticed, Mother Nature could use some help. Old plants and leaves will eventually rot enough that you can use them as mulch, but Jesus does it take a long time, and nobody’s got all day to wait. Like they say, if you want something done right, do it yourself. An electric leaf mulcher is a great way to speed up that slow old woman’s work.
For many people, donuts are the only reason to get up in the morning. Despite this, we’ve been told over and over how unhealthy they are, being fried balls of dough and all. Well, this donut pan will remove the final psychological barrier to full enjoyment, because it takes out the frying. Take that, food police. Oh, and it’s a lot cheaper too.