Help alleviate their fear of the unknown by bombarding them with all the sordid details upfront. Bestselling syndicated advice columnist Harlan Cohen will hold their proverbial hand as they navigate the choppy waters of college freshmanhood. Prepare them for their first adventure living away from home so they can take the weird in stride.
We can’t emphasize this enough: you ride the motorized cooler full of drinks to the party, you drink its contents, and then you WALK it back home. Nobody wants to be the guy on the news who got arrested for drunk driving an empty cooler. So stay safe.
The perfect portable self-defense device/sock-under-the-bed finder. If they had these in horror movies, everyone would still be alive. Compact and heavy-duty, this stun gun flashlight will fit right in their purse or sit comfortably on their nightstand for when their roommate sneaks in to steal their favorite shirt again.
God, do we even have to explain this one? It’s unlikely you remember a single house party from your college days where something or someone did not end up aflame. Or maybe you didn’t go to a state school. But it’s always better safe than sorry. Even more, better safe than on fire.
Going to college means getting up and motivated for early morning classes, often after a late night of doing what college is really about - homework, right? It’s easy for students to forget to set an alarm, or to select PM instead of AM before passing out, from all that learning. A smart alarm clock can be programmed ahead of time to match their class schedule. On Monday it knows to go off at 7 in the morning, but on Tuesday it lets them sleep it off till 10.
Good luck convincing them this isn’t an acid flashback. This remote-controlled fish will be a welcome break from conventional pets that need feeding and only stay in the air for a few seconds. Holds enough helium to turn any house party into a chipmunk colony.
Rugged, non-slip, waterproof, and shockproof, this rock-solid external hard drive will keep their data safe no matter how hopelessly clumsy or reckless they are. USB 2.0 and 3.0 compatible and built like a tank. The coordination-challenged student’s best friend.
Celebrate their roots with one of these insanely comfortable t-shirts to remind them where they’re from. A great antidote to homesickness and scratchy-clothing syndrome. And if someone should find them drunk and unresponsive on the front lawn, they’ll know approximately where to send them.
Here is a compilation of tips, tricks, hints and advice for the college bound student. For example, did you know that instead of taking a shower and cleaning up their dorm room they can spread dry tea bags around to absorb the odor? Or instead of keeping their shoes off the coffee table they can use oil and vinegar to get the scratches out. There are lots of useful ideas in here that can help one navigate through these challenging years of academics and hygiene.
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
