Your boss has carved their individual signature into the business, leaving an indelible mark that has become a permanent emblem on the corporate history, influencing and directing its financial success. You’re not going to give them some run-of-the-mill leather or paper bound journal you picked up at Walgreens. Right? It’s okay, you don’t have to admit it if you were. Just grab this one and thank your lucky stars we were there for you again.
Tyrannical behavior is never good, but with some people it just seems to be ingrained in their DNA. If you have to suffer through it, at least make your boss admit it with every sip of double spiced pumpkin chai, or whatever that bastard drinks. Call it passive aggressive if you will. We just call it effective. Since you probably can’t knock your boss down a couple of rungs on the corporate ladder, you might as well ridicule them a little.
Since nobody seems to be interested enough to invent an ever-lasting battery, it looks like we’re all stuck charging our phones every day for the foreseeable future. But before you throw you hands up in disgust and ask how it could possibly get worse, there is some good news. The same lazy, inconsiderate tech “geniuses” who refuse to make forever batteries have at least found the decency to create a little pad that charges smartphones without having to plug them in. And really, it’s the least they could do.
Nothing says you’ve made it like clothing that bears the logo of your corporate brand. And no, we’re not talking about those cheesy screen printed t-shirts that somebody in HR’s cousin whipped up for that convention last year. We’re talking about real, legit looking professional branded wearable merchandise (PBWM, if you require an acronym). Such accessories are no longer the exclusive domain of uber-hip brands like Supreme. Now your boss can corporatize their bling too and let the whole world know what they need to know, in case they don’t already.
The course may be far away, but it’s never far away from your boss’ heart and mind. Now you can put the tools of the trade at their fingertips with a set of golf pens. Score a hole in one for your career.
There’s no better way to spend your last few minutes before bedtime than reading about someone who’s smarter, more successful, and far more innovative than yourself. Inspiration, they call it. Give your boss the gift of understanding what they don’t understand.
For the distinguished gentleman who enjoys the finer things, but also eats a poppy seed bagel every morning and always has some stuck in his teeth, there are scotch infused toothpicks. The added flavor and kick of scotch will encourage use, which is something that everyone can smile about.
For the coffee and donut addicts of the world, it’s hard to believe that anything could improve this heavenly pairing. But that will make it all the more mind-blowing when they realize you have indeed given them something that will take the experience to another level. This truly ingenious piece of kitchen/office-ware provides the perfect platform on which the two elements meet to create the true breakfast of champions. Because if you’re going to do it, you might as well do it right.
This classy gift looks great on an office wall and may be the perfect thingamajig for the traveling boss. Comes with markers for displaying places they’ve already been and places they’d like to go. Available as a US or World Map.
Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.
The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.
They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.
A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?
Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.
In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.
Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!
So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.
