Letter Of Appreciation From Former President
If you know someone retiring with 30 or more years of service to the federal government, civilian or military, perhaps a letter from a President of the United States is in order. Have their favorite leader commemorate their retirement with this one of a kind gift.
Let’s be real: financial advisors are really there to take your money. Behind that smarmy smile and questionably tailored suit is a walking, breathing, organic pile of self-interest. It’s about time someone dished on what truly makes retirement rewarding. This kind of advice is what they’ve really been waiting for.
Give the gift of beauty with a piece of original artwork from Artsy. These are not prints. This is the real thing, suitable for mature adults with refined tastes, like a retired person is supposed to have. Of course, some of the stuff here maybe isn’t all that refined, but at least it is original.
Whatever colors they wore in their younger, more spry years, you can bet they wore them with pride. But god knows they’re not going to fit into that uniform anymore. And even if they did manage to force their old carcass into those youthful dimensions, it would probably only make everyone a little worried for their mental health. But turn it into an everyday use item like a tote bag, and they’ll look stylish as all get-out.
Here are two things we know about old retired men: 1) They like to play golf. 2) They have to pee a lot more often than younger folk. The golf club urinal solves the second thing so they can focus on the first. It even comes with a towel so nobody gets arrested.
They put a lot of work, not to mention their heart and soul, into making a vision come true. Show them that someone else noticed with a professionally-made video biography narrating the highlights of their career. A nice final ego kick as they make the transition into old people world.
People still get pensions? Retirement is the BEST. Give the gift of smug satisfaction with one of these novelty mugs and glasses that tells the world your favorite retiree is kicking back, forgetting about all the stress, and still getting paid every month.
Despite its name, this is not a field guide to the best edible roadkill, but a legitimate book about things you’ll want to eat in different places across this wide and beautiful land. Packed full of hidden gems and insider tips, this book is sure to keep them full and satisfied no matter which direction they strike off.
In a couple of generations, nobody’s even going to know what the hell a book is. Have you seen a teenager try to figure out how to use one of their parents’ audio cassettes? But for those of us in the know, books are the real source of pure knowledge and wisdom, untainted by the runoff of digital culture. Like a cold, clear mountain stream, but with words.