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Long Distance Friendship Lamp

Until we learn to harness our psychic powers, we’ll have to slog through life using technology to communicate our thoughts to each other over long distances. But this is most certainly one of the sweetest ways to slog. Touching one lamp makes the other turn on instantly, so you can let whoever has the matching twin lamp know you’re thinking of them, no matter where they are or how far away. In the age of social media, where mass personal advertisements pass themselves off as “connection”, show someone important that they’re worth a direct line of their own.

Uncommongoods.com

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Gift Card For Top Restaurant in Their New Town

Many people, when faced with new surroundings, forget to eat and end up perishing from malnourishment. This is a leading cause of death among travelers and those who have recently moved. A gift card at a great restaurant not only reminds them of the paramount importance of calorie ingestion, but even pays for some of it.

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Make Plans To Go Visit Them

This sounds more like a gift for you than for them, but it’s something that they will appreciate in a big way. They will probably be feeling a little isolated and lonely in their new town, especially if they’re leaving deep roots behind. It takes a long time to cultivate friendships in a new community, so seeing a familiar face in their new town is likely to make it feel more like home. Plus, you could probably use a vacation, right?

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Maid Service For Former House

Cleaning every nook and cranny of a house before moving out is an enormous task. The level of cleaning that will take place is likely far beyond anything they did when they actually lived there. That just makes the experience feel even more like a fruitless chore, cleaning for someone else and not even getting to enjoy the tidiness. With a long to-do list before moving, cleaning the old place is something that they would love to cross off without lifting finger. Hire a local cleaning service to take take of this drudgery so they can focus on what’s next.

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Personalized Street Sign Will Remind Them of Home

Leaving home isn’t always a walk in the park. Give that departing loved one this decorative street sign along with a few bonus safety tips: Remember to be courteous to others and mind the rules of the road, especially when visiting new and unfamiliar places. Try to avoid any dangerous potholes along the way. Keep your eyes on the road as you drive off into the sunset, and don’t get distracted by what’s in the rearview mirror. Yield to oncoming traffic as you cruise down the boulevard of dreams and remember to use your directional if you have to make a U-turn and start over. Good luck and always wear your seatbelt!

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Custom Home State Pendant

We’re all Americans, but those regional variations are what make the United States such an incredible place to call home. With fifty unique shapes to choose from, these charming pendants give props to local geography and may test a few admirers on their state-guessing skills. Going away doesn’t have to mean trading in your hometown personality or homegrown accent. Show pride in your roots and never forget where you came from.

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Cruel Fake Money Joke

Stop being such a selfish jerk already! When you’re sitting on this amount of dough, the only right thing to do is give it away to someone who’s going away … and hope they’re not stupid enough to use it and be put away … for life! Talk about a hilarious prank for that punk who’s leaving you high and dry in this godforsaken place. Don’t let the spoof drag on for too long, though—they might go and spend the phony loot to buy you a lavish gift and then you’ll be an accessory to the crime!

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Homesick Candles Smell Like Their Home State

These candles are formulated to smell like your home state. Good thing nobody told them that when you’re home all you really smell is burned turkey and your brother-in-law’s beer farts. This is more like the idealized version of your home smell, the kind of false memory someone wants to take with them when they leave.

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Handmade Map Artwork

Is your going-away gift budget topping out at $5 … including taxes? Fear not—this handy-dandy idea is a homerun for the less-than-crafty set. Just raid your parents’, grandparents’ or your own trunk for something called an “atlas.” (A local map once used for scouting yard sales will also work.) Grab your toddler’s scissors or some comparable shears to cut out an accurate shape of the state. Then pull out those five big ones and purchase a simple frame to house your creation. Voilà!

Popular Gifts

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Adjustable Standing Desk

Technology may be shockingly smart these days, but unfortunately your computer is still too dumb to stand up when you do. Though on that note, when it does become smart enough to stand up with you, you should probably run. On second thought, once the machines are that smart it’s already too late. Just sit back down and wait for the computer to tell you what to do next. If you don’t make any abrupt movements, it might spare you. In the meantime, buy this adjustable standing desk for someone you care about so they don’t ruin their posture.

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Second Screen For Laptop

The dual computer screen is one of today’s uber-nerd status symbols. Let the investment bankers have their Rolls Royces and the pimps their gold plated canes. The pinnacle of luxury living for a gamer is a super high resolution dual screen, so they can engage in some next level merkage (gamer slang). But it’s not just for video game junkies. Plenty of professionals have sworn off the single screen setup for good, pledging their allegiance to the gods of multi-tasking.

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Interactive Personal Trainer Mirror

They say change always starts with the person in the mirror. But when you look into this mirror, you actually see two people. There’s you, and then there’s someone else in way better shape who’s trying to get you to do things you might not really feel like doing. And that’s not just any old fit person who’s goading you on — it’s an elite personal trainer from a top gym. So you better listen. This is the perfect workout gift for someone who needs that little bit of extrinsic motivation, but is narcissistic enough to kind of like staring at themselves while they work out. So, pretty much everybody.

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Virtual Cooking Classes With Gordon Ramsay

A virtual cooking class with Gordon Ramsay is a chance to learn from a culinary master without the yelling and food punching you've seen on TV. His MasterClass lessons feature the seven-star Michelin chef in his home kitchen teaching everything from kitchen setup, buying ingredients, prepping, plating, and pairing restaurant quality recipes that wow guests. Crispy duck with red endive and spinach anyone?

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Sleep Pod

Sleep Pod is a first-of-its-kind sleep solution designed around the science of Deep Touch Pressure Therapy that can help you fall asleep faster, and stay asleep longer. Sleep Pod applies a gentle, calming pressure to your entire body, much like a hug. This helps to reduce anxiety and gets you ready for sleep.

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Whole Bottle Wine Glass

In classier quarters this might be called a “decanter.” But the built-in stupidity of a decanter is that it’s really just a big glass you’re not allowed to drink out of. You see, in the genteel world of wine, “classy” consists of adding unnecessary steps to what should be a simple process. Of course, bourgeois society has attached all kinds of stigma to drinking straight from the bottle, so some kind of compromise is necessary. And that compromise is right here.

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Phone Sanitizer and Charger

Phones actually have more germs on them than a typical public restroom. This smart cleansing machine might not eliminate the dirty content sucking up the data on their phone, but it will be sure to return sterile swiping to their wired existence. Personal device hygiene should not be overlooked by today’s touch-screen fanatics. A high-tech disinfectant, this ingenuous accessory will decontaminate wireless communication and restore cleanliness to the digital age. Oh, and it also charges while it cleans!

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Inflatable Heated Whirlpool Spa

So many of your household appliances would be better if they weren’t fixed in place. Wouldn’t you sometimes like to bake in the backyard? Do the laundry on your roof deck? And what about the toilet? Wouldn’t you like to…well, never mind. For now, we’ve got the inflatable hot tub. Move it, deflate and store it, set it back up and inflate it in three minutes whenever it’s needed.