Metal Balloon Dog Sculpture
This shiny balloon dog eliminates the sadness of both the traditional party balloon that is destined to pop, and the real-life canine companion that rarely outlives a human (whoa – sorry). This man’s best friend will stay by their side from their fiftieth birthday to their last (if it doesn’t end up in a yard sale before that!)
A person who has lived over half a century is often seen as wise, a person who young people can turn to for a deeper understanding of the world. Unfortunately, not all of us know quite as much as it seems like we should, and wish we could bone up on human history a bit before we get asked about it. And that’s where this book comes in.
Whether it’s Charlotte’s Web, Hamlet or Harry Potter, a first edition of their favorite book is sure to top the gifting charts. In the past, you’d scour bookshops, eventually stumbling across a kindly old bookseller, who’d take pity on your plight, and climb a rickety ladder, to dust off a long-lost volume... nowadays, we have the Internet.
This is the real stuff. You don’t start off drinking 50 year old whisky. No, you buy the cheap stuff, then maybe the fancier stuff, and once in a while the good stuff comes your way. But a liquor that’s aged for 50 years, like a human, is on a whole other level. This has to be earned by living.
Why not? There’s so many good things about Amazon Prime – things that didn’t even exist when your 50-year-old was a kid. Free shipping in 2 HOURS? What kind of sorcery is this? Millions of songs? That’s a lot of mix tapes. Video streaming? The closest they had to that was a black and white nature documentary about rivers.
By their 50th birthday, a person is probably pretty sure they are not going to ever have a royal title. Like, what are the chances? Now you can blow their mind with the gift of a Scottish Laird or Ladyship decorative title and a real piece of an ancient estate.
Sure, they could just make the same list on their smartphone, and never print it. Or they could use a pen. But people turning fifty have been wanting a Voice Activated Grocery List Maker since they saw that article about life in the 21st century 40+ years ago, and, goshdarnit, they should get one.
This doesn’t have to be awkward. Yes, you are giving someone, as a 50th birthday gift, something they will use for pooping. It’s OK. Then someday you’ll say, “Hey, you, uh, you ever use that Squatty Potty?” They’ll look horrified for a half a second, but then they’ll crack a quick smile and say, “Yeah, actually. It’s great. Thanks.” Then you never speak of it again.
By their 50th birthday, they’ve probably managed to acquire some decent jewelry. Maybe not a lot, but some, and good enough that they want to keep it clean and nice. So instead of giving them another gold bracelet, perhaps this Jewelry Steam Cleaner would be a prudent gift.